


Capstagram

by ZaraofNW



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: AU, M/M, Vlogger AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-28
Updated: 2014-08-26
Packaged: 2018-02-10 20:24:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 35,981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2038896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZaraofNW/pseuds/ZaraofNW
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bucky is a fashion vlogger. Steve is an art vlogger. And Steve may or may not be just a little bit in love with Bucky. After Bucky mention's Steve channel in a video he work's up the courage to talk to him and they spark up a conversation and possibly something more. Slowish build. Quite fluffy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Natasha Is Always Right

**Author's Note:**

> I would like give thanks to electro-monk.tumblr.com/ for helping to come up with this. but an extra special thanks to livingyournightmares.tumblr.com/ for not only coming up with this brilliant idea but helping to beta it. you two are amazing and this is for you
> 
> -  
> also word of warning i have never written Steve or Bucky so if they OOC please forgive me. whatever happens let me know what you think. cheers.

Bucky scrubbed a hand over his face. His therapist had said he was in a rut and that much he believed. Since getting back from Afghanistan he’d done doodly-squat (if even that). In the beginning it had been acceptable. He had moved back in with his parents while he did physical therapy and waited for his new arm. And then he’d got the arm. And then he had languished.

 _‘What the hell was he supposed to do now?’_ He thought to himself He had a high school diploma, a metal arm, and absolutely no direction to start off in. All he ever did was watch trashy television about housewives and fashion reality shows, go to work at the bar down the street from his tiny apartment he shared with his old war buddy, and people watch in between. He sighed, staring but not seeing the people who passed him by.

Central Park was alive as ever; little kids running to and fro in the grass screaming and laughing, street artists putting on a show, vendors selling heart-attack’s on a stick, and everyone in between. Bucky stared as a businessman slumped onto a bench opposite him, eating a hotdog and looking as dejected as he felt. He ran his eyes over the man’s cheap suit and mentally clicked his in disapproval. It was ill fitted and at least five years out of style. Typical.

Shaking his head Bucky looked back down at his notebook and the page stared back, just as blank as it was five minutes ago. “Fuck,” he whispers to himself and closed it. He really hated his therapist. Moreover, he hated that she was right. When he tried to think of the future all Bucky can imagine is working the same minimum wage job, same shitty apartment, and same nightmares. His therapist had said he needed to make a plan, to get out and do something he cared about.

But what did he care about? His family, obviously, his friends, of course, his comrades, but what else?

“Alright Jamesy, I’ll bite what’s up?” his sister, Natasha, asked as she dropped down onto the bench beside him handing over his coffee.

“Its Bucky,” he hissed like an impudent child.

“I’m your sister I can call you whatever I want, would you prefer Pooh Bear?” she smirked.

“Whatever,” he huffed and instead concentrated on his coffee, savoring it like he was a connoisseur.

“So really out with it.”

“Out with what?”

“That look, I know that look. What’s got you all upset?”

Bucky sighed and relented; there was no winning with his sister. “My therapist says I’m in a rut.”

“Agreed.”

“Yea I know,” he replied sarcastically. “She said I need to concentrate on the future, find my passion or whatever.”

"And the problem is?”

“The problem is I don’t know what my passion is.”

“Well what do you like?”

“I dunno.”

Natasha leveled him with a withering look, “stop being difficult, everyone has interests. What about sports? You were so good in high school.”

“Who will take me now?”

“There are plenty of veterans leagues.”

“Yea the pamphlets mom leaves me for says as much,” he grumbled. He loved his family he really did, but they could be a little too involved sometimes. He was twenty-two for god sakes, he didn’t need passive aggressive emails from his mother every five minutes.

“Well what do you do all day?”

“Nothing really: I watch crap TV, work all night, and sleep the rest of the time.”

“Ok,” she drew the word out, slowly thinking it over. “Well what shows do you watch?”

“Real Housewives, the History Channel, Project Runway,” he rattled off. While he may be shy about admitting this to anyone else his sister was the sole exception to that and just about all his other rules.

“Oh I love Project Runway, Tim Gunn is a fashion god.”

“I know, only he can pull off those suits,” he grinned despite himself.

“Well why don’t you focus on that?”

“What? Tim Gunn?”

“No silly fashion, you were voted best dressed after all.”

“Fashion?” he asked, testing out the word, seeing out it felt in his mouth. It say dry and heavy but not entirely unwelcome.

“Yea, y’know start a collection, learn to sow, make a vlog or something.”

“Ok first off I can sow just fine you’re the one who is all thumbs,” he pointed out making his sister roll her eyes. “And second what the hell is a vlog?”

“Are you serious?”

“Yes.”

“Big brother I love you but you are so out of touch,” she chuckled.

“Sorry I was a bit busy defending freedom for the last few years.”

“And I am ever so thankful for that. So you really don’t know what a vlog is?”

“No.”

“You know blogs right?”

“I’m not completely out of touch.”

“Ok well its that but videos, they’re all the rage.” Bucky thought it over brow furrowing in confusion. Sensing this Natasha continued, “you can make a video about talking about whatever: your life, celebrities, news, and _fashion_ and then you post it to YouTube.”

“Why would any one care what I think about fashion?”

“I dunno, I care.”

“You have to you’re my sister.”

“No actually I’m allowed to think you’re the stupidest shit ever,” Natasha smirked getting a light elbow in the side for it. “But seriously, you should, you’d be great.”

“I don’t know.”

“Well just think about it.”

“If I say yes can we change the subject?”

“Only if you pinky promise,” she said holding out her hand.

“Fine,” he sighed dramatically but hooked his fingers with hers and shook nonetheless.

“Good, now mom wants to know if you’ve been eating properly.”

“Dear lord,” Bucky groaned.

The siblings spent the afternoon wandering around the park and Bucky even managed to enjoy himself once Natasha had gotten all their mother’s intrusive questions out of the way. That afternoon before work Bucky sat in front of his computer thinking. On a whim he tried a few keywords in Goggle, followed a few links, and found himself lost in the world of YouTube and vlogs.

He didn’t sign up in the end but the thought lingered. As it turned out he didn’t have a say. Three days later Natasha sent him an email that read:

_‘I knew you would chicken out so I made an account for you and even gave it a depressing name. I expect to see at least one video before the end of the month or there’ll be trouble,_  
 _Enjoy Pooh Bear!’_

Rolling his eyes he followed the link and sure enough there was a YouTube account all set up under the name The Winter Soldier. Natasha had even put up a profile picture: a candid from him lounging in the sun. Mentally cursing his sister Bucky gave in. he would do just one video, that at least would appease both his sister and his therapist.

A full week flew by as he researched what he wanted to talk about and another five days camping out in his room making the video. He downloaded a few different editing programs on his aging laptop. It was slow going at first; he’s spent so much time the old-fashioned way at war or simply offline altogether that it was hard to get back into the swing of it. But eventually he completed the video making sure to keep his metal arm hidden. He let it sit on his desktop for a whole day until one night, quite drunk, he worked up the courage and posted it. Closing his laptop he took another shot, and turned the TV trying not to think about what a mess he’d gotten himself into.

He didn’t check his account for another week; though he almost did multiple times but chickened out at the last moment. He had gone to war and fought for freedom and democracy in a desert thousands of miles away from home, yet he still he found himself scared to check other people’s reactions to his video (that, is there were any reactions at all). One morning after work he finally worked up the courage. It was dawn and he’d had a few drinks to help out and hopefully keep the nightmares at by for a while at least. Summoning the last dregs of his confidence, he logged on and checked on the little blue link to his YouTube page.

It had a few hundred hits and some comments - not all of which were supportive or even in mildly correct English - but there were some nice ones. Natasha had clearly emailed the link to their entire family and (he guessed) maybe half her high school because many of the posts were from cousins, or old friends, or awkwardly enough, some of his sister’s friends who had thinly veiled crushes on him. _‘So not the end of the world’_ he thought to himself. That didn’t mean he would make another, even if the video had been generally well received.

When the weekend rolled around Bucky dutifully met Natasha by the Balto statue, as was their custom. She stalked up grinning devilishly and part of him deeply regretted ever telling her a thing. “You check the video?” she asked.

“Hello to you too and yes.”

“People liked it, just like I said.”

“Half of them were family or your creepy friends.”

“My friends aren’t creepy.”

“Well they certainly creep on me.”

“You’re a hot older guy, course they do,” she shrugged looping their arms and dragging him towards the nearest coffee stand.

“Gross Nat.”

“I didn’t mean I think that. To me you’re just my nerdy older brother. But I mean come on, you’re not exactly ugly, and teenage girls can’t be held responsible for their hormones.”

“You sure seem to be in control of yours.”

“Yes well I’m the exception, our family is less than normal.”

“No it isn’t,” he sighed.

“Cheer up Pooh Bear, I thought it was great.”

“Oh shut up you little shit,” he chuckled shoving her playfully away. While his life may not be in order, Bucky could at least count on his little sister to lift his spirits (sometimes with spirits, but mainly metaphorically speaking). They joked their way to the vendor bought their usual coffees and settled down on a bench over looking the lake.

“Ok but seriously, when’s the next video going up?”

“There is no next video,” he answered flatly.

“But that one was so good!”

“You can stop lying anytime you want.”

“I’m not lying and you know it, only you and Clint can tell when I’m lying,” she stated, shifting to look him straight in the eyes. “I’m serious Bucky, it was a good video and it’d be good _for you._ ”

“I don’t know Nat.”

“Please? For me?” she asked putting on her sweetest smile.

He smirked, “you know that doesn’t work on me, and yet you still try.”

“It totally does. Now please? Do another?” Bucky watched her and nodded with a sigh. There really was no winning with Natasha. When she wanted something she got it or there would be hell to pay. “Thank you bro,” she smiled, and leant over to plant a kiss on his cheek, “you’ll thank me later.”

“Really? Because at the moment all I’m thinking of if cursing you.”

“You’ll see,” she said in a mocking little song.

“Sometimes I think you’re too smart for your own good.”

“Hey you got the fashion sense, I got the brains.”

“And the brawn?”

“We’ll call it an even split.”

“Oh really? You think you can take me?”

“Please, I know I can,” she snorted, as if the idea was absurd.

“Little shit,” he muttered, a grin dancing across his face.

After bidding Natasha goodbye at the subway station Bucky wandered home, stopping to buy a few fashion magazines at the supermarket on his street on his way. If he was going to do this he may as well commit (or Natasha would have his balls, even though she kept saying he didn’t have any). He spent the afternoon flipping through the pages and tracking down a few fashion blogs to help with ideas. The next video came a bit easier, although he still had to wait a day before summoning the nerve to post it.

Slowly the hobby grew on him. Bucky would sit for hours watching his shows or flipping through the magazines making notes of things he wanted to talk about. He began making trips to department stores and thrift shops looking for interesting finds. With each successive video he gained followers and with that the bravery to continue. Piece by piece “The Winter Soldier” spilled his secrets, and his story to an audience of strangers, and to his surprise; they liked him. It took a few dozen videos but he eventually revealed his metal arm when going on a tirade about military fashion and the institution in general. Even then his followers supported him. They did not reject him for his perceived deformity, but wanted more of his story, they wanted to know him better.

As the months progressed Bucky found his niche. He would spend each episode talking about the latest trends, debate some of the choices of fashion shows, and always end with a positive message. He was teaching himself and others to love themselves as they were: fat, skinny, punk, disabled, or just down right weird. Instead of hiding his arm he grew to embrace it.

His therapist was proud, and Natasha was smug.


	2. In Which Steve Is A Fanboy

“Ah so I do still have a roommate,” Sam chuckled as Steve stumbled through the door, his clothes splattered with paint.

“Hey,” he yawned giving a vague wave.

“How’s the painting coming?”

“Good, I’m uh,” Steve paused to make room for a yawn, “nearly done, need another day or two.”

“You ever think of sleeping between now and then?”

“That is exactly what I plan to do… right after I write this stupid history essay.”

“I thought you liked history,” Sam said as Steve fell into his desk chair rolling his shoulders and groaning.

“I do,” another yawn. “But only when I’ve slept.”

“You’re killing yourself kid.”

“I’ll gladly die for art,” he smiled proudly.

“And _I_ , for one, will gladly tie you to that bed,” Sam said throwing a pencil across the room at him. “Get some sleep first, you know you’re not going to get shit done in your state.”

“Maybe but-”

“No buts; bed, _now_ ,” Sam said setting his jaw.

Steve met his eyes, the worn out blond only lasted a moment before giving in, he was exhausted after all. “Ok I’ll sleep, am I allowed to check my blog first, _mom_?” he sassed back.

“Five minutes, then lights out.”

“Yes ma’am,” he gave a huff of laughter and a lazy salute.

Dragging his laptop to the center of his desk Steve fired it up, quickly skimming through his news feeds for anything important. He blandly liked a few photos of his from FaceBook, saved a few articles for later, and bookmarked a few messages to respond to. In his spare hours (a commodity he was quickly run out of while at school) he ran an art blog. It’d begun in high school and over the years he’d gotten quite the following. He winced when he noticed that his last video had been nearly a week ago.

Opening up a text post he typed out an apology to his followers explaining his newest school project and promising a video in the next few days. Hopefully that would keep them at bay while he lugged through the rest of his schoolwork. Finally though he checked on his blogger, The Winter Soldier.

#WhoTheHellIsBucky had appeared on his radar a few months ago when he had been browsing Instagram. To put it bluntly he’d fallen immediately for the young male fashion blogger. Whatever your sexual preference there was no denying his beauty: those sweet sad puppy dog eyes and secret smiles. At first he has just stalked his Instagram account that was filled with pictures of him and friends trying on thrift store outfits and a few creeper pictures of random passers by with comments like: _‘finally someone who can pull of a coat dress flawlessly’_ and so on. Over time however, Steve had followed to links to his other accounts. The young man, Bucky if he was to be believed, ran a vlog called WintersChildren, and of course when he’d heard Bucky’s story of losing his arm in the war, well, his crush only grew.

There was only one real update mixed in with all the thank you’s and messages back from fans. A photo of him smiling sheepishly over a coffee; his hair a fashionable mess and his eye make up game perfect as usual. The caption was _‘coffee with Nat and looking like a dork’_. Steve’s heart definitely didn’t flutter, no, definitely not. Why would you ever think that?

Steve smiled fondly at the picture only to be jolted from his fantasies by pen smacking the back of his head. “Oi, lover boy, stop ogling that dude and get to bed,” Sam ordered.

“You know one of these days you’re going to run out of pens,” Steve said powering down his laptop.

“Oh I have but that’s what your pens are for.”

“Jerk,” he threw back, but there was no bite to the insult. Shrugging and stumbling out of his clothes Steve crawled into bed, falling asleep thinking of Bucky grinning over coffee at him. “Night Sam,” he mumbled into his pillow.

“Night Steve,” his roommate called back turning down his lamp as he continued to study.

Like every other college student Steve greeted the next morning with a sour look, glaring at his alarm clock willing it to burst into flame. As usual though, it just continued to beep rudely at him. With a grunt he rolled out of bed and slapped it off. Taking a quick shower (that involved scrubbing some stray paint out of his hair from the night before) it was back to work. After a short pause to check his online accounts of course, a few minutes wouldn’t hurt.

Bucky usually uploaded a video in the early hours and he was delighted to find a blinking notification waiting for him. Glancing over at Sam (who snoozed on happily) Steve plugged in his ear buds and settled in for the newest vlog entry. Today, Bucky talked about punk fashion: giving a little history lesson on the music and beginning of the style. He moved on to cheap ways to achieve the look including deliciously modeling a few outfits he’d thrown together. The broadcast wound down with him answering some of his favorite comments and questions left on the previous video. The last minute was his usual little speech of learning to love yourself: imperfections and all (with a victorious metal fist) before winking and ending the video.

It had been those little speeches at the end of the videos that had really gotten him. The man may be beautiful and fashionable but he was also so achingly sweet and passionate about body positivity and learning to love yourself. The more he talked about his struggle to readjust to civilian life and the slow acceptance of his metal arm, the more Steve fell for him. Bucky’s message was always about love, for misfits bonding together to help each other ‘because who else was going to?’ Whatever your oddity, Bucky welcomed you with open arms and supported you through it all.

It was that message that had inspired Steve to make the second channel. Outside of his art vlog, he began a campaign to help raise awareness for charities. Each week he would talk about the newest tragedy: veteran suicides, depressed high schoolers, and the like. For each news story he would promote a charity to help those who needed it. Steve himself had been at the mercy of bullies before he’d grown into his body. For most of high school he’d been a pint sized runt and artsy outcast. Of course Peggy had been there to fend off any bullies and comfort him on the darker days. Without her he knew he would be utterly lost. So Steve tried to be there for others like she had been there for him; everyone needed a Peggy in their life.

Finishing the short video Steve sighed muttering, “sweet Jesus,” his expression best described as pathetically love struck.

Steve was no fashionista, his wardrobe ranged from frumpy and grandpa style to the usual odd art student look. Most of his clothes had been sacrificed to his art: splashed with paint, burned, or otherwise partially destroyed on accident. So while he didn’t have much in the way of fashion sense, Steve still adored Bucky’s blogs.

“Back to your stalking?” Sam yawned looking up from his bed.

“No,” Steve lied closing out the window.

“You know you could just talk to him.”

“I, I do,” he stammered out, “I comment on his stuff sometimes.”

“Uh huh but do you ever say ‘Hey you don’t know me but I’m madly in love with you. Please date me, I’m a desperate gay art student.’”

“You’re a real smartass sometimes, you know that?”

“You’re just angry because I’m right.”

“Don’t you have class soon?”

“Don’t _you_ have a history essay?” Sam shot back as he groggily clambered out of bed, stretching tired limbs. Steve sighed looking up at his history book that sat on his little shelf, the fat volume mocking him. “Start the coffee maker would you?” Sam requested as he wandered into the bathroom.

“Aye, aye captain,” he sighed. Pulling down the book Steve gave himself on last reprieve from work to set up the coffee drip before getting down to business.

Sitting down in his usual spot for typography study later that morning Steve smiled as the familiar faces drifted in. His smile morphed into a bright grin when Peggy entered and came to sit beside him. “Hey handsome, how’s the project coming?”

“Nearly done, how is your installation?”

“A nightmare,” she groaned. “I was up all night folding those stupid designs. All I have left to do is glue it all together. Good thing too though, if I have to fold one more stupid piece of paper I will put a palette knife through someone’s eye.”

“Ok Captain Badass,” he teased.

“You know what I mean,” she said rolling her eyes. “I’ve even been _dreaming_ of folding them, now that’s a nightmare.”

“God I’ve been there, when I was finishing my sophomore portfolio last year I dreamed about the presentation for weeks,” he shuddered at the memory.

“What? not dreaming of your little crush?”

“He is not my crush,” Steve flushed.

“Your ears say different,” she smirked.

Steve clapped both hands over his ears that had turned an embarrassed pink. “He’s just someone I follow, he’s interesting.”

“And hot.”

“And hot,” he admitted.

“So are you going to stop creeping and actually talk to him?”

“You know you’re the second person to say that to me today.”

“Because its true. Steve everyone can see you’re mad for this guy, why not just talk to him?”

“Well what if he isn’t what he seems? What if I’m not what he thinks? What if he thinks I’m just some loser? Some deranged fan?”

“He’d have to be delusional to think that and you don’t want to date a crazy anyway.”

“I’m serious Peggy.”

“And so am I,” she said folding her arms. “You are not a loser Steven Grant Rogers, and I won’t tolerate such talk, you hear me?”

“Is everyone my mom today?” he grumbled.

“Someone has to take care of you, so you hear me? No more talk of self pity.”

“Alright, alright I promise.”

“You have to say it.”

“Peg.”

“Don’t try me Rogers.”

Rolling his eyes Steve rattled off the mantra she’s created for him years ago. “I am not a loser, I am a talented artist with a future, and anyone who says otherwise is not worth me time, and Peggy Carter is a goddess divine.”

“Good boy,” she smirked.

“It’s a good thing you’re my best friend or I wouldn’t put up with your ridiculousness” he said with a grin, opening up his notebook a their teacher bustled in.

“Oh please, you’re the one who is ridiculously in love with some stranger online.”

“I really hate you sometimes,” he muttered.

“Uh huh,” she scoffed opening up her own notebook and completely disregarding him. When their teacher’s lecture finished the students were allowed to start in on their project, which meant murmuring conversations.

“So what’s the challenge for this week?” Peggy asked as she frowned down at her page.

“I was thinking maybe something using fruit,” he mumbled bent low over his own page.

“Fruit?”

“Yea like making portrait out of apricots or something.”

“Very modern art,” she teased, not even glancing up from her page.

“What can I say? You’re my muse.”

“Be sure to remember that when you’re famous.”

“Oh heck no,” he chuckled, “I’m ditching you first chance I get.”

“Jerk.”

“Bitch,” he replied making them giggle at their little inside joke. “So think it's a good idea?”

“Brilliant baby, hey what do you think of this?” she asked sitting back and turning her page to face him.

He regarded the meticulously drawn letter t and nodded, “passable.”

“Someone woke up on the sassy side of bed today.”

“I’m just in a good mood,” he shrugged. He tried to control the blush that threatened at the cause of his good mood: a certain doe eyed blogger.

Life was normal: Steve went to school, stayed up late finishing his projects, and bantered with his friends. It was any other week, so he was caught quite by surprise when he checked his accounts late one night.

Steve yawned running a hand through his hair as he clicked to the next tab. His face immediately brightened when Bucky’s face appeared, his hands up as he gestured in the pause screen. Putting in his headphones he started the video putting it fullscreen and leaning in. It was a normal video, this one debating the resurgence of parachute pants and drop crotches. Steve wrinkled his nose at the pictures; despite his lack of fashion sense even he knew that was poor design. The surprise came at the end of the video when Bucky had finished up his body posivity section and moved on to his parting words.

“Before I sign off I just want to give a special shout out to another vlogger who is doing amazing work raising awareness for important issues and charities. I don’t know if you’ll see this but Boyfrombrooklyn I just want to thank you for all your time and hard work. Everyone should go check out his channel. He’s a sweet kid doing some good work so go and send him some well-deserved love! Alright all you Winter’s Children I’ll see you next week, and remember I love you. I may not know you, but believe me when I say, I love and all your little imperfections, I love you. Bucky out,” he said with a salute before the episode ended.

Steve sat in shock, gaping like a fish out of water for a full minute if not more. Bucky knew who he was, Bucky thought appreciated his vlog, _and Bucky knew who he was._ “Oh my god,” he whispered.

“What’s that?” Sam asked from across the room.

“N nothing,” she stammered slamming his laptop closed.

“Ok, for your sake I’ll pretend that was normal,” his roommate said giving him an odd look but returning to his video editing.

“He knows,” Steve whispered. “Holy shit, he knows who I am, and he knows I exist.”

“Ok seriously, _what_ are you whispering about?” Sam asked turning around completely.

“Nothing I just-”

“Just what?” he frowned.

“He knows who I am.”

“Who?”

“Bucky, he knows who I am Sam.”

“Bucky? Is that the guy you have a crush on?”

“I, I do not,” he yelped flushing a dark red. “I’m just excited ok? He, he mentioned my second channel in his blog, I’m just, you know, happy.”

“I believe the term is enamored.”

“Oh, oh shut up,” he snapped back lamely turning around and pointedly ignoring his roommate’s deep chuckles. After spending another few minutes sitting in shock Steve did what any reasonable person would do: he texted his best friend.

_Peg you up?_  
 _**Yea working on this stupid essay, you are so glad you aren’t in that class.** _  
_Sorry but I’ve got sort of a situation_  
 _**Oh no did you rip your painting?** _  
_No it’s so much worse_  
 _**Is your mom ok?!** _  
_Ok not that serious_  
 _**Ok now I’m freaked what happened?** _  
_Bucky KNOWS_  
 _**OMG you grew some balls and did it? You talked to him?** _  
_No he mentioned me in his video. He knows who I am!_  
 _**That’s great!** _  
_Great? It’s a miracle I think I’m dreaming_  
 _**Make Sam pinch you** _  
_What do I do?_  
 _**What do you mean?** _  
_Do I talk to him?_  
 _**Steven Rogers stop being a wimp talk to him** _  
_**If you do not talk to him I will steal all your calligraphy pens** _  
_Not funny I’m being serious_  
 _**So am I** _  
_Just say something to him!_

Steve sighed, biting his bottom teeth worrying it as he looked down at his computer drawing a blank.

_Well what do I say?_  
 _ **I dunno maybe ‘hi I’m madly in love with you can I please have your adopted babies?’**_  
 _You’re supposed to be helpful_  
 _ **Ugh seriously steve you are so inept**_  
 _ **Say hi, just fucking introduce yourself before I do it for you**_  
 _ **Well?**_  
 _Ok I’ll do it. But if this blows up in my face I’m blaming you_  
 _ **If it goes wrong I’ll buy you a smoothie. If he falls madly in love with you then you owe me on. Deal?**_  
 _Deal_  
 _ **Good. Now take a breath before you pass out and text me after you’ve done**_

Steve did take a deep breath realizing he had been holding it. Smiling weakly at Peggy’s text he put the phone aside and returned his attention to his laptop. Lightly, he drummed his fingers over the keyboard, wondering what exactly to say. How did you casually say ‘hello’ to your ridiculous crush? He tried his best to come off normal and innocent but he had a feeling his excitement showed through clearly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> to help you keep it straight for the text message section Steve is the italics and Peggy is Bold+ italics


	3. Little Red Bubble Of Fate

Bucky hadn’t meant to fall for anyone. He had barely come to terms with his sexuality, that maybe girls weren’t for him, and gotten used to his metal arm. It seemed fate had other plans. He’d seen the boy’s comments mixed in among the rest of his followers and tried to answer them as blandly a possible. But Boyfrombrooklyn seemed to cut through all of his ramblings and see the point. It wasn’t really his fault Bucky had a teensy crush on the young man.

On a whim one night he followed the boys link to his blog where he spent every episode talking about real issues and donating to important charities. After only one episode he was done for. It was hard not to fall for the earnest young man with his kind pale blue eyes, apple pie face, and - rather adorable - lack of fashion sense.

After a few months of talking gleefully about him with Natasha, Bucky gave in and simply put his appreciation and adoration into words. He didn’t expect a response. All he wanted was to alert the world to the young man’s passionate and ever so important blog. He wanted the world to appreciate the boy’s blog like he did.

The next morning he’d nearly forgotten he’d mentioned the blog. Bucky yawned running a hand through his hair idly wondering if it was time to get a hair cut. Opening up his laptop he checked his notifications. He scrolled through the usual posts only to pause noticing a new message.

Boyfrombrooklyn wrote: _thank you for the mention. I’ve been a follower for sometime and admittedly you are part of the inspiration for my vlog. Your videos always make my day and it’s nice to just to be noticed by someone as great as you._

Bucky couldn’t restrain the grin that pulled at his lips. 

-

Whatever Sam and Peggy said to the contrary Steve definitely did _not_ obsessively check his notifications. He definitely did _not_ look up from his painting every five minutes to reload his inbox (and subsequently frown when he found it empty). No, Steve definitely did not have a ridiculous crush, no sir. After a few hours he gave up on receiving a reply or getting any more work done and crawled into bed.

The next day Steve continued checking throughout the day much to his chagrin. He’d basically accepted that it was a one off and Bucky didn’t actually care who he was. He was lost in thought bemoaning his existence, as only great artist could, so he didn’t immediately notice the little red notification bubble. He was slumped to the side with his hand on his palm blandly reading his history book barely looking up as the reloaded the screen every so often. After turning a page he sighed and looked up as he thumbed the enter button to reload. He was just looking away when out of the corner of his eye he saw the alert.

Steve’s hand slid out from under him in shock and he flailed forward in a half fall scrambling to click the link. It opened and sure enough there was a message waiting from the one and only Winter Soldier.

Winter Soldier wrote: _it’s you i have to thank for all your hard work. you are doing great stuff i enjoyed your video about the stop and frisk policy in New York. you would think a free country meant being free of fear, or at least that’s what i fought for. have you read the piece about the police harassment at the south Manhattan gay bars?_

Steve grinned as he read through the message, quickly opening a reply window to reply.

-

Bucky was still going through the comments of his video looking for any ones of interest when the little notification sounded. He frowned opening up his inbox and finding, to his pleasant surprise a reply from Brooklyn, as he had nicknamed the boy in his head..

Boyfrombrooklyn wrote: _I haven’t read that article would you mind sending it to me? I need a topic of next week’s video and would love to raise awareness of hate crimes in New York and elsewhere. If I haven’t said it before in my other comments but thank you for your service and sorry we aren’t living up to our potential as a country, you deserve better after fighting for our ideals after all._

Bucky had barely sent his message five minute ago. He would sometimes corresponded with his followers but none ever answered so eagerly before. It seemed only right that he respond just as timely, and beside the kid was adorable.

To Boyfrombrooklyn: _its an interesting article and would make for a good episode they even mention some groups and charities to support [link]. police aggression definitely goes unchecked along with homophobia. thanks but I didn’t go to war just for america i believed i was helping people by ending tyranny. i wish our country would live up to its potential too but one of the things i love most is its strive to meet our higher standards. Each day we inch closer to our ideals. its good to finally chat i’ve been a fan of yours too for a while too_

Bucky bit at his lip wondering if the last sentence was innocent enough (and in no way conveyed his little crush on the kid). After a few minutes trying to edit the message into something semi-professional he sent it off, a hand running through his hair, one of his nervous habits. Only a few minutes later and another reply came in, Bucky smiling sheepishly as he opened it: it seemed he was making a friend out of the vlogger.

Boyfrombrooklyn wrote: _yea sometimes the state of this country can seem a bit hopeless but we’ve already come so far. Looking back I cringe at how bigoted people were and sadly still are. Also please excuse me while I fangirl, I am so glad you like my videos I’m going to go crawl into a hole and die of happiness. I have to admit I am not that fashionable, my friends call me a frumpy grandpa but I love your videos even if I don’t always know what you are talking about with cross stitching and all that._

Bucky snorted at the idea of someone describing the vlogger as a ‘frumpy grandpa.’ In his mind there was no possible way anyone could call the young man anything less than a sweet-faced puppy. His cheek’s flushed pink at the compliment, he still struggled with the idea of people looking up to him, of admiring him. He looked away from the screen as he collected himself, running a hand through his messy hair.

-

Steve sat at his desk biting back an excited grin as he waited for Bucky’s reply his history homework all but forgotten. He was glad Sam was in class because he’d rather have his delighted freak on his own with no witnesses to tease him about it later.

Winder Soldier wrote: _oh no please don’t crawl into a hole i would miss you. maybe if you watch my vlog long enough i can teach you a thing or two about fashion. and you could teach me a few more things about activism, i’m afraid i don’t read the news as often as i should._

Steve turned cherry red and he grinned stupidly down at the screen as he read. A tiny hopeful voice wondered if perhaps the reply was flirty or maybe it was just in his imagination. Steve may have grown into his body but he was still clueless as to the whole 'romance and flirtation' thing. According to Sam and Peggy he’d accidentally broken a few hearts by completely missing the real subtext of people’s words. Steve was still under the delusion that was just scrawny artsy weirdo and no one in their right mind, especially an attractive someone like Bucky, would be interested. Try as she might, Peggy still couldn’t shake this belief from his head.

So while there was a faint glimmer of hope, Steve mostly just blushed and basked in the attention from his crush. He reasoned that Bucky was just being nice. He’d had plenty of playful conversations before, this was no different. His goofy grin and racing heart was just a side effect, a coincidence more like. Yeah, that worked, _right?_

To Winter Soldier: _well I have already learned some things from you like not to mix certain prints. As for activism I’ve only recently started getting into it, inspired by you actually, so I still have a lot to learn as well. But if you like I could always send you extra articles that don’t make it into the videos._

 _‘That was innocent enough right? Was it flirty? Was he even trying to flirt?’_ Steve thought to himself.

“Shit,” Steve cursed the cursor hovering the send button. If he was being honest, which he often was, he had no clue what he was doing. The only thing he did know is that he was just a _bit_ lovesick for the fashion vlogger. Even if that was something of an understatement it did help him make the decision. Taking a deep breath for courage he hit the reply button, idly wondering why he was having heart palpitations over an _email_. Dear god he was doomed.

-

Bucky waited eagerly for the reply, attempting to bit back a smile as he read and failing utterly. It was very possible that he had a crush on this kid, his sweet replies only fuel to the fire. The problem was however, that while the boy’s smile warmed his heart the mere thought of connecting closely with someone terrified him. He had lost enough good men at war and been rejected for his bionic arm, by himself and others, that intimacy of any kind scared him. The last thing he needed was to get close to someone, to care, and then to lose them in one way or another. In the beginning he had even tried to distance himself from his family, but they were a stubborn lot, especially Natasha who always got her way. Beyond his family the only other people in his life were his war buddies with whom he could commiserate. Even with them however he attempted to leave some space, just enough so that if they left him he would not break.

This dark train of thought froze Bucky in his seat, staring down the message like a cop interrogates a criminal. A part of him: the traumatized, scarred, and scared part - wanted to ignore the message or end the conversation there before he had a chance to get hurt. Another part yearned to know the young man better, to connect with him and spill all his awful secrets and nightmares. That part of him was brave, somehow believing that _this time_ he would not be rejected. Some part of him had faith.

So with an intrepid heart Bucky opened up a reply window. For the first time since the war he felt like being brave, like connecting, and perhaps he felt like he could possibly be fully human again.

To Boyfrombrooklyn: _i’m glad i was able to save you from a complete fashion disaster. if you have any good articles i would love to have them, maybe they could fit into my videos somehow. so is activism your passion? or something you just recently picked up?_

He let out a breath he hadn’t realized his been holding. He could feel his anxiety begin to rise, a heavy and unwelcome weight settling over his chest, but sadly not a unfamiliar one. He looked around the room nervously tapping his fingers before standing up and heading to the kitchen. He needed to distract himself and battling it out with his dysfunctional coffee maker was a good way to ignore the bubbling panic in his chest.

He heard the little notification sound a few minutes later as he wrestled the top back on the machine. Giving it a glare that said _‘I dare you’_ he pressed the button. For a long moment nothing happened and then finally the little light clicked on and he could hear it going to work. Shooting the machine one last dirty look he wandered back to his room, dropping into his chair with a little hesitation. 

“What the hell have I gotten myself into?” he sighed to himself before opening the message.

From Boyfrombrooklyn: _I will send you any good stories I can find especially if they have something to do with fashion. I am definitely passionate about activism and have gone to a few marches and such. But my real passion is art. I’m in art school and trust me I’ve heard every joke there is about what a useless degree that is, but I don’t care. Art is what I love, it makes me happy so I say forget what everyone else thinks and do it anyway. Now don’t make fun but I uh also run an art blog. I talk about art movements and set challenges and stuff. Its lame I know, please don’t think I’m a loser._

It seemed that without even trying Boyfrombrooklyn could make him smile. He had to give the boy props for following his passion. Bucky had a hard enough time running his small blog let alone getting a degree.

-

Steve nibbled his lip as he waited for the reply, trying to contain his excitement now that Sam was back. His back was turned and he had his headphones on as he edited away but there was no telling what his roommate would notice, and consequently tease him for.

The little red bubble appeared and Steve eagerly opened it. He had been nervous to divulge the truth about his main vlog, but he believed what he said: forget everyone else and do what makes you happy.

Winter Soldier wrote: _my congratulations i don’t have the strength to follow my dreams much farther than this vlog let alone all the way through to a degree. if you don’t mind i would like to check out your videos, would you mind sending me the link? only if that’s ok of course. as to your motto: do what you love and fuck the rest. i feel like that’s part of why america was founded. here you have the freedom to follow your dream, no matter what it is, and no one can stop you._

Steve felt the small bubble of nervousness release to be replaced with a happy little warmth that spread up his cheeks in a blush. If he wasn’t careful he could very well fall for Bucky. He respected him and was kind but also so insightful. It really wasn’t fair.

To Winter Soldier: _the link is at the bottom. You can browse through but please try not to laugh. I know some of them are strange but I’ve been trying to get into modern art. Do you know anything about art? In my opinion, I think you could follow your dream about fashion as far as you want. From what I can tell you know what you’re talking about and could do something with it. But that’s just me and like I said I’m not much of a fashion expert._  
 _[Link]_

Harmless enough, right? Well either way he meant everything. Though if he was truthful he was enamored enough with Bucky to support him doing anything he wanted from fashion to being an assassin if he so wished.

-

Winter Soldier wrote: _i don’t know anything about art; i nearly flunked it in high school. so i guess you will have to educate me on that too. that said i doubt i could ever call you lame, i’m sure your art is great. you aren’t wasting your time if its something you love. thanks for the words but i’m not sure I have the courage to go into fashion completely, at least not now. maybe one day i will but i’m still just trying to figure everything out._

Bucky hit the send button but remained bent over his computer looking over the young man’s words. It wasn’t the first time he’d received praise for his fashion insights and such but he was still uncomfortable with it. He had grown up in something of a macho family: his father had been in the military, his mother was a corporate lawyer, and even Natasha did many sports including going for a black belt. Bucky had followed his the family line of joining the military, he’d played all kinds of sports, he’d dated girls, and in general he’d been the tough guy he was supposed to be. He was only now beginning to find himself. It seemed that after being torn apart by war - literally in fact - he was only now piecing the real Bucky together. As it turned out he was something of a softy: he didn’t like fighting faceless enemies and ideas, sports were fun but not everything, and he was beginning to think he didn’t care all that much for girls. Girls were nice and pretty, but they didn’t get his heart beating like Brooklyn did for instance.

The reply came quickly and Bucky didn’t hesitate to answer.

From Boyfrombrooklyn: _that is really sweet to say, I get a little nervous when I think about the future and what I’ll do with my life. Its hard to figure out life, but I guess that’s the adventure right? Or at least that’s what I say to reassure myself. I hope you figure yourself out enough and really go for whatever you want. You are courageous that much I know already, you just have to remember that. And I am always here to cheer you on._

Bucky’s grin softened to a kind smile. The boy’s words gave him hope. He had been so caught up in doing what his family wanted he’d forgotten to live and now he was he lost. However Brooklyn made his struggles seem somewhat better, almost poetic. Bucky didn’t realize but he had needed those words. Natasha was always there for him but her words were always tinted by blood: she was his sister so of course she supported him. But this boy, this stranger, had faith in him and helped drive off his doubts.

His fingers hovered over the keyboard wondering how he should respond. It seemed a bit sudden to gush and thank him for the kind words. He also doubted he could find the words to explain how much they meant to him. He did his best to respond as normally as he could, maybe one day he could tell him how important those words were, (would always be he mentally noted).

Winter Soldier wrote: _everyone gets scared of the future, trust me i am an expert. but i think you have a point, its all an adventure and everyone is a bit lost in one way or another. thank you for the words they are important to me. it’s nice to have someone who believes in you, especially if you don’t believe in yourself. whatever you do, don’t give up on your art. follow it to the ends of the earth and beyond. if you have that in your life then everything else will be ok. or at least that’s what i’ve been told._

So maybe he gushed a little, so what? it couldn’t be helped it seemed. Bucky had a sinking feeling that he was starting to care for this boy, perhaps a little too much. His words were kind and insightful and his face, well, no one could resist that sweet smile.

-

Steve had worried his fervent support might have veered into the fangirl territory but he was pleasantly surprised by Bucky’s reply. He was relieved to find his words were gratefully taken. It was also nice to find the support returned. He hadn’t been lying when he had doubts about getting an art degree; he’d been subject to many a joke at his passions expense. Thankfully he was always eventually reassured by either his mother (the goddess that she was), Peggy, Sam, and now Bucky. It gave him hope that maybe, just maybe, he could do something with his art. He may not change the world but he wanted to do his best to improve it: bring beauty to a world, which sadly so often ranged towards the loveless and pessimistic side.

“Uh Steve?” Sam asked.

“Yea?” he asked looking over.

“I know you’re seriously invested in whatever that is,” he said waving vaguely at his computer. “But don’t you have class soon?”

“Like… fifteen minutes,” Steve shrugged glancing at the clock.

“Yea but isn’t it in Hamilton Hall? All the way across campus?”

“Shit,” Steve cursed.

He turned back to his laptop and quickly wrote out a reply.

To Winter Soldier: _I have to run to class but I hope we can talk more lately. Check out my art channel if you have time and let me know what you think. Your words are really inspirational, maybe you should consider being a poet. Whatever you do, remember I believe in you and I’m sure a lot of other people do to. Don’t give up on your dream. Hope to talk soon – Steve_

Waiting to make sure the message sent Steve slammed his laptop closed and shoved it into his backpack along with his notebook and pencil case. Jumping up he made it halfway to the door before doubling back for his keys and phone.

“Good luck!” Sam called with a laugh as Steve sprinted out of the room.

He made it two minutes before class started slumping down in his seat beside Peggy breathless. “Hey,” he said in between deep breaths.

“Hey,” she chuckled, “forget about class?”

“I got caught up with something.”

“Oh you figure out your project for typography? I’m still struggling with ideas”

“No I uh,” he flushed, “I was talking to Bucky.”

“Holy shit really?” she cheered turning a few heads. “What did you say? What did he say? Tell me everything!”

“We just talked.”

“Steve,” she said in a stern voice making him instinctually cringe. “Don’t bullshit me, now come on tell me I’m your best friend, I’m supposed to know this kind of thing.”

“Ok, ok,” he relented. “We sort of talked about fashion, and how I have none.”

“That’s for sure,” she grinned plucking at his scratchy old sweater, “but continue.”

“And then it sort of morphed into talking about finding your dreams and following them even if it’s hard. I also sort of told him about art, and sent him to the link to my main channel,” he said a blush beginning to rise. “And then we sort of agreed to keep talking, you know um exchanging important news stories. Just you know, uh talking,” he finished now bright red once more. Sometimes Steve really didn’t like how his body so easily betrayed his feelings, the chronic blushing was embarrassing.

“Steve,” Peggy cried happily playfully slapping his shoulder. “That is amazing, I knew talking to him would go well. Looks like you owe me a smoothie.”

“No the deal was if he falls madly in love with me. We barely know each other; I’m just some guy to him. He is most definitely not going to fall for me.”

“Just wait,” she smirked, “I know I’m right, and don’t try to dissuade me Rogers.”

“Yes ma’am,” he said rolling his eyes and getting another light slap.

“I was right though, it went well.”

“I’ll give you that,” he said smiling shyly.

-

“Steve,” Bucky said testing out the name, tasting it. He now had a real name to put to the sweet face and smart words. _Steve_ , something about it brought a smile to his lips.

“What in the world are you smiling about?” Dum Dum asked from the doorway.

“Nothing,” Bucky quickly lied neutralizing his expression.

“Uh huh,” the man said raising an eyebrow. “Well you want to go out for coffee? The machine has exploded again.”

“Again? Seriously?” he growled getting to his feet and marching to the kitchen. Sure enough the machine had over flowed and come apart leaving a mess of beans and watery half made coffee. “We need to replace this thing, maybe take it into a field and go all Office Space on it,” he grumbled.

“Amen brother, so how about it?”

“Yea gives me two seconds.” Bucky returned to his room grabbing his wallet, keys, and phone. He glanced at his aging laptop and allowed himself a tiny smile making a mental note to watch _Steve’s_ videos before his shift that afternoon. Hurrying after his roommate Bucky stuffed on his boots, hopping out of the door while Dum Dum chuckled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just so you know, yes bucky does not capitalize when he emails and such. it killed me to do that. let me know if you see any mistakes and as always let me know what you think. as always thank you to my lovely beta Tara (http://livingyournightmares.tumblr.com/) go and give her some love  
> \- love, Zara


	4. Taking Shape

Returning from breakfast at the nearest café Bucky went straight to his laptop and as promised followed to link to Steve’s art blog. He was certainly confused by some of the videos especially by some of the stranger challenges Steve set for his followers. He was never bored though, and even learned a thing or two about art. It of course helped that he got to watch Steve talk animatedly about his passion, because you could clearly see his love of art with his fervent words and hand gestures. Bucky had to smile when in some episodes Steve had clearly just finished his work: paint and other stains still dappling his clothes, cheeks, or fluffy blond hair.

It really should be illegal how likable the boy was; it wasn’t Bucky’s fault that he fell just a bit more with each video. After going through a good number of videos Bucky decided to leave a comment or two such as:

Winter Soldier wrote: _impressive painting, how long did it take you? and what technique did you do to get the trees like that? they look beautiful. however you managed it the painting is wonderful, i’d pay my life savings and more for that piece._

Or on another:

Winter Soldier wrote: _how in the world did you come up with that challenge? i know nothing of modern are but that is seriously out there so bravo. also word to the wise you may want to invest in an apron or coveralls or you’ll end up with blue hair or something._

It was harmless enough right?

-

Peggy had demanded fuller answers once they were allowed to get to work on their individual projects. Steve spent much of the class period recounting his conversation with Bucky in as much detail as he could remember. Just thinking about it made Steve smile, which of course made Peggy smirk like the know-it-all she was (she could be simultaneously the worst and best friend in the world).

In between classes he had enough time to check his messages and sure enough Bucky had posted a few comments on his videos. He clicked through them smiling brightly and answering each and every one with care.

Boyfrombrooklyn wrote: _it took me a long time to finish that painting, days and days and days of painting. I did like how the tree’s turned out; I tried to channel my inner Bob Ross. And please don’t compliment too much or my blush might catch fire, I’m burning up here._

Steve wondered if he was being too flirty, _‘would that put Bucky off?’_ It was true though; he was blushing up a storm at the comments. He tried to shrug it off, he was feeling courageous with Peggy egging him on, she really could be a bad influence when she wanted.

Sadly though he did have actual work to do. He was up late that night in the studio working on his newest project: a triptych all inspired by his mother: her kind heart, her illness, and her brilliance. It was a hefty project but he was determined to do it justice.

He only returned to his dorm when Sam called and demanded that he _‘get his skinny ass back to the room before he comes over there and kick’s him all the way home and into the next dimension.’_ Steve wisely decided to follow his orders and made his way back across the dark campus.

Wolfing down a few bowls of cereal Steve paused to check his messages one last time; there was still no response from Bucky. With a frown he crawled into bed, Sam throwing one last pen at him before turning out the lights.

Steve awoke with a groan, hitting the snooze button twice before Sam cursed him and turned over putting a pillow over his head. Steve thought he must have been crazy to ever sign up for a nine o’clock class, even if it was only twice a week. Blearily stumbling into the shower and back Steve yawned his way through making a PB&J sandwich to munch on the way to class and tracking down all his school supplies along with a thermos of coffee. He was brain dead enough that he didn’t think to check his messages until he sat waiting for class to begin. Steve idly powered on his laptop logging in and tabbed through his messages with blearily eyes. He had to do a double take when Winter Soldier appeared in the header. Bucky had replied to a few of his messages some time in the early morning. Sitting up and giving his head a good shake he leaned forward to read the message, tired eyes squinting.

Winter Soldier wrote: _well we wouldn’t want you spontaneously combusting. i think i will find it hard not to compliment when you are so talented. but if you wish i will drop it down a notch. so a lot goes into each painting? what’s the longest you’ve ever worked on something?_

Despite his exhaustion Steve smiled.

To Winter Soldier: _you really are incorrigible you know that? At this rate I will be just like a Spinal Tap drummer: exploding and forgotten. Back to art though yes, each painting takes ages. At least a few weeks of hard work every day goes into it along with my blood and sweat (sometimes literally). Then of course I spend another week inspecting and over analyzing it to find all the mistakes. Do you have any projects going on? Anything with fashion? writing? Or maybe juggling?_

“Are you quite finished Mr. Rogers?” the teacher asked from the head of the room.

“Uh y yes sir, sorry sir,” he mumbled shoving his laptop back into his bag. Steve kept his head down for the rest of the class reaming silent as he sipped his coffee, which really needed some sweetener, and wrote down half a novel in notes to make up for his earlier rudeness. On his way out he paused at the teacher’s podium, letting himself be buffeted by other students to mumble, “really sorry professor it won’t happen again,” before hurrying off.

“Morning,” Peggy smiled as he slumped into his seat beside her. “How was the class?”

“Awful,” he groaned putting his head on the desk. “Never let me take another early class, ever.”

“Its just one semester.”

“Semester from hell, its like being a freshman all over again but this time I am _way_ more tired and have _way_ more work.”

“Cheer up Steve, I brought provisions,” Peggy smiled patting him sympathetically.

With a groan Steve sat up only to have a thermos shoved into his hands and an apple rolled across the table to him. He stared down in awe for a moment and then threw his arms around Peggy. “Have I mentioned how much I love you recently?” he mumbled into her auburn locks.

“Not enough.”

“Well I do, you are simply the greatest,” he declared kissing his cheek before withdrawing. Steve took greedy gulp of the coffee, to find it sweetened perfectly to his tastes, and melted back into the chair.

“Better?”

“Better, thank you.”

“Its what I’m here for darling.”

“I owe you.”

“Meet me at the diner tonight?”

“Isn’t it band night?”

“Yes and Pepper’s band is playing so I’m going to support her, and so are you.”

“I dunno I have a lot of work, I’m barely even started on my triptych.”

“Steve, it can wait a few hours while we support a friend,” Peggy said firmly.

“You’re right, you’re right sorry,” he nodded. “Course I’ll meet you, what time?”

“Lets call it seven so you can get a little work in before hand.”

“I can do that.”

“Damn right you can,” she nodded with a little snort.

“Weirdo,” he muttered into the thermos.

“You love me.”

“Ugh I know it’s terrible,” he teased.

“Don’t make me take that coffee back, I’ll do it Rogers.”

“Alright I give,” he laughed turning away to take another large swig.

They had to quiet down for the lesson, this one taking up most of the period. In the small time they had to work the two best friends resumed their conversation seamlessly.

“So talk to Bucky again?”

“Just a little, we’ve been sending comments back and forth on some of my videos.”

“What does he think of them?”

“That I’m good but he knows absolutely nothing about art apparently so that doesn’t actually mean anything.”

“Good, because if he said anything less than genius he’s an idiot.”

“Be nice,” he kicked playfully at her foot. “Art isn’t for everyone, especially when it’s made of bits of fruit.”

“Fine I’ll give you that one but my statement stands: you’re brilliant.”

“So are you.”

“That’s a given,” she nodded sitting a little straighter and brushing back any stray locks. “You’re not so bad yourself. Now to serious business, how do you think this is coming? Is it a disaster or can I salvage it?” she asked pushing her paper to him.

“Looks fine Peg.”

“You sure? I’m more of a 3D artist and all this drawing is killing me.”

“I know and you are completely brilliant at sculpting and all that. You are also fabulously talented at this, it looks good, you’re brilliant, remember?”

“Right sorry,” she smiled apologetically. “Had to have my monthly freak out, ok,” she took a breath, ”ok I’m good, thanks Steve.”

“Hey I have bi-weekly freak outs, I’m not judging,” Steve shrugged returning to his work.

After class the pair headed straight for the school café to meet up with Sam and Peggy’s cousin Sharon who had stopped by for lunch. They spent what little time they could joking and teasing before parting ways for class. Picking out a comfortable corner Steve settled down to try and get some of his homework out of the way before his next class. In celebration of finishing a reading on some of the post modernists Steve allowed himself to venture onto the Internet, always dangerous when attempting homework. When Steve checked his email after class he was glad to find another reply from Bucky, apparently the man kept rather odd hours.

Winter Soldier wrote: _haha great reference that movie is something else. wow that is a lot of work i really do know nothing. i hope you don’t over do the analyzing; they all look great to me. as for me, i’m not doing much of anything besides working and running my little vlog. what about you? any new art projects in the works?_

Setting his history book completely aside Steve set about creating a reply, his art was serious business after all.

To Winter Soldier: _people tend to underestimate how hard art can be. The worst is when you just can’t quite think up a full idea, the frustration drives me crazy. I am actually just starting in on a very big project that will take a month at least of lots of hours. It's a triptych: an art piece divided into three different sections and I was stupid enough to make them all rather big. It’s going to be hell but I don’t mind, it’s dedicated to my mother. Cheesy I know but I don’t mind admitting I am a mama’s boy._

Looking it over for any glaring mistakes Steve sent off the message hoping that Bucky was awake and able to reply soon.

-

After sending off his reply to Steve, Bucky finally crawled out of bed to greet the day (or technically the early afternoon). He decided to forgo the battle with the coffee maker and instead crawled out of bed, into clothes he was pretty sure weren’t clean, and wandered down the block for a large coffee. Walking the three flights back up to the apartment was killer, Bucky paused more than a few times to yawn and sip at his coffee. By the time he slumped on their second hand and well-worn couch he was half finished with the beverage. He had the forethought to grab his laptop to actually entertain him while another procedural detective show played in the background.

As was quickly become custom he smiled when he say that he had a reply from Boyfrombrooklyn. It was easy to picture Steve as a mama’s boy; he was certainly sweet enough from what Bucky could tell.

To Boyfrombrooklyn: _that sound’s very sweet and definitely not something to be embarrassed about. I can’t say the same for myself though, my mother is nice enough but my family isn’t very big on sharing and caring. I hope your project goes well, I’m sure it will turn out great, I would love to see any updates you’d be willing to send along the way. What I do know well is going crazy when you can’t quite get a handle on an idea. I struggled for ages trying to think up my blog; in the end my sister is the one who really created it._

At least this time around Bucky really didn’t know how to sympathize so he went with the truth instead. He wasn’t an artist or close to his mother, but he’d known crazy, hell he’d been called crazy by some not so polite relatives. While waiting for Steve’s reply Bucky looked through the rest of his messages responding to those that he could. He enjoyed talking with his fans and sharing in their stories and supporting them through hard times. That didn’t mean he didn’t also eagerly await the happy little bing of the notification, it sounded less than five minutes later.

Boyfrombrooklyn wrote: _thanks for the support and I’ll definitely send over an update now and then. As of right now though I’ve only got a few splotches of paint on the canvas. I guess I need thank your sister your videos are amazing. I may be a broken record but I still think you should follow through on your love of fashion. Heck, maybe go become a tailor or work at Buffalo Exchange part time or something if you have to. Whatever you do I’m sure it will be great, you’ve got talent and from what I can see a real eye for fashion._

Bucky sighed, the encouragement was nice but it opened up the nasty wound of his mystifying future. Natasha had more than once mentioned he actually pursue fashion instead of ‘wasting his life as a bartender’. Even his mother had once brought the idea of fashion school up. It had obviously been a forced effort, his parents and much of his family, had trouble thinking of him as anything other than their good little soldier. Despite all the support Bucky still found himself lacking the conviction to follow through on any of the suggested plans. He liked fashion but did he have the guts to make it his life? The thought scared him. The future scared him, and if he was being honest the past and present scared him to in the form of nightmares and memories from his time in Afghanistan.

Giving a little shiver just at the thought of his nightmares, the night’s previous horrific dream still fresh in his mind, Bucky instead concentrated on replying.

To Boyfrombrooklyn: _i will pass along the thanks but just know you’ve just bought me about five minutes of teasing. i love my sister but she is a little too satisfied with herself for my liking, boosting her ego could be dangerous. i do sometimes wonder about doing something with fashion in the future. i’ve never taken the plunge though, can’t quite muster the courage. maybe one day i’ll become a seamstress or something but for now i’m just a bartender._

Talking about Natasha never failed to bring a smile to Bucky’s lips. He was a proud older brother. However, as the following for his vlog grew so did her smugness, it was really getting ridiculous. He idly thought of taking her down a peg or two at some point, he was her older brother and a decorated war veteran thank you very much. Finishing off his coffee Bucky slumped low in the cushions and waited for the reply, flipping over to BRAVO to watch Real Housewives, it was trashy but he couldn’t care less (even if Dum Dum teased him over it). A few minutes later and the little notification pinged drawing his attention away from the dramatic women.

Boyfrombrooklyn wrote: _oh dear I’m sorry, but she deserves it I’m afraid. I’m sure you will find the confidence one day to ‘take the plunge’ as they say. You seem like a brave and decent guy; hopefully the world sees that too and soon. A bartender huh? That explains a lot you’ve been reply at odd hours and almost always post at ridiculous hours. Are those hours rough? Or have you gotten used to it?_

-

Steve was beginning to feel nervousness creep into his chest along with a flush on his cheeks. He would often show off some of his personal or school work on his vlog but this felt different. For starter’s the piece was much more personal, it was about his mother for god sakes. Secondly, it was Bucky: his ridiculous crush who seemed genuinely interested in his art. Finally though, they were beginning to get personal. He’d given Bucky his name, technically half on accident, and now he was discovering things about the man’s life outside the blog. Bucky trusted him enough to tell him about his sister and his job. Over the past two days of exchanging replies they had begun to actually connect. It was slowly turning into something real, something more than being mere strangers.

He couldn’t tell if he should feel elated or terrified, each seemed perfectly normal. Thankfully Bucky’s reply came in and distracted him from over thinking their new found friendship, or whatever it was.

Winter Soldier wrote: _thanks for the compliment i try my best to be a good human being, something surprising amount of people fail at. i’ll think over taking the dive but for now i’m just a boring guy. to your question yes the hours do mess with me a little, especially when someone tries to make me go out and be social. over the years though i have gotten pretty used to it. i’m not much of a sleeper though so at least when i’m awake i can wander around the city. what about you? how is art school going? what classes to you even take there because i doubt you need calculus or anything?_

Steve snorted at the idea of someone attempting to badger Bucky out of his apartment and into some restaurant or bar. Though he didn’t know him well, to Steve at least he seemed like a rather quiet man who didn’t need copious amounts of human interaction, only the minimum. Still smiling Steve typed out his reply.

To Winter Soldier: _I hope you give in and go out every now and then. Its not good to be cooped up all day your thoughts. Art school is definitely different from most schools. When I started I didn’t know what to expect either. We don’t have calculus that I know of but there are some serious programming and video-editing majors. My roommate is one and he’s very handy with computers. I guess school is fine; it’s definitely fun, if stressful. They do make us take more normal classes like English and history, centered around art of course. Did you ever go to college? I do sometimes wonder, and shudder, about what normal school is like._

There it was again: the sharing. With each reply he learned something new: Bucky had insomnia, wasn’t out going, and liked to wander the city. Steve had shared right back: first his art, then his mom, and now Sam and art school. Dear god, he was truly starting to like the vlogger, not just crush, shit was getting _real_.

At that slightly unsettling thought Steve pulled out his phone while he waited for Bucky’s reply.

_Can you talk?_

And minute later and he got his response.

_**A little, what’s up?** _  
_So I maybe, sort of, really like this guy_  
 _**No shit Sherlock** _  
_It started as a crush I swear and now shit_  
 _**Now what?** _  
_We’re talking about ourselves like school and work and all that. The more I learn just makes it worse._  
 _**How is it worse?** _  
_Became I am a weird artsy college kid. But he is like a veteran and he has a sister! And just everything_  
 _**So you are freaking out because he has a sister? I’m confused** _  
_No it’s just that I’m really starting to like him, not just stupid fantasies and all that._  
 _**Well I knew that from the start. Still not seeing the real problem here** _  
_for starters what if he’s not gay? What if I’m crushing on some straight guy? And worse what if he has someone already? Or ok worst what if I’m literally just some weird artsy college kid he finds entertaining for now_  
 _**Ok I can’t answer the first 2 but I promise he doesn’t think that** _  
_**Steven Grant Rogers you are may be an artsy college kid but your quirks are cute and anyone who says otherwise is a fucktard** _  
_**So stop freaking out and bothering me and fucking talk to him. Jesus.** _  
_Ok I’ll try_  
 _**Good. Now I love you but damn it Steve don’t be difficult. You like him so do not let your stupid nerves, or lack there of, to stop you** _  
_Ok sorry Peg I love you too_  
 _**Good now go back to flirting some of us have real work to do** _  
_Thanks I’ll see you tonight_  
 _**Yes 7 sharp! Now get to class I know you have one coming up** _  
_Yes ma’am_

With a sigh Steve put his phone away. Ok, so maybe he actually liked Bucky. That wasn’t the end of the world he could deal with it. All he needed to do was stay calm and keep it together while their relationship flickered into life (and oh god he’d started using that stupid internet phrase or the world _relationship_ ).

By that time Bucky had already replied. Trying not to think about how stupidly happy seeing that username made him he opened up the message.

Winter Soldier wrote: _man i am pretty bad with computers. i can do the basics obviously and i’ve learned a lot from setting up this vlog but i’m still kind of useless. so kudos to your roommate. i haven’t gone to college; all i’ve got to my name is my high school diploma. i have heard stories from some old friends and war buddies. usually all they tell me is either how stressful exams are or how awesome the parties are. so really i have no idea what any college is really like._

Somehow the reply made sense to Steve. Bucky, smart as he was, didn’t seem like the collegiate type. Besides he had been busy off fighting for freedom to learn about coding and go to lectures. The more detailed picture of Bucky that Steve was able to paint in his mind, the more he cared for the young man.

-

For his part Bucky was beginning to fall little by little with each reply. The art student was sweet as could be and an interesting puzzle of sorts that Bucky wanted to figure out. He didn’t mind admitting his lack of education or lame job, and neither did Steve it seemed; in fact he remained interested, which came as a surprise to Bucky. He had never considered himself all that interesting. Sure in high school he had been popular enough but everyone knows what a superficial shit show that could be. And now, well now he hardly did anything and still Steve wanted to know more.

Bucky was definitely going to have to consult with Natasha at the development. Not only did he need to pass along the thanks from Steve, but he also needed help understanding how he felt and more importantly what to do. That would have to wait for the weekend, for now he had a new reply from Steve waiting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i just want to thank everyone for their lovely comments and kudos! you guys are amazing and i hope you enjoyed this chapter. as always let me know what you think. (and please excuse any mistakes and let me know so i can fix them)
> 
> love, Zara


	5. Twitter And Truth

The pair continued to reply back and forth over the following weeks. The conversations ranged from debating each other’s videos, news stories, favorite childhood movies, to just talking about what a boring day they had. Without the other knowing their individual crushes on each other grew. The picture that Steve now had in his mind of Bucky was exceptionally detailed, he knew about Bucky’s terrible coffee maker or how he’d given his dog tags to his little sister when he’d returned home and sworn off violence. For his part, Bucky had accepted that his heart fluttered when he saw a message from Steve waiting in his inbox, even the inane responses about the appalling school food. The friendship slowly moved out of the inbox’s, though they still sent a few replies daily, and into the other forms of communication open to them on the Internet. 

For instance the two boys ended up having a heated debate through video responses about the second amendment.

“I get what you are trying to say, but personally I just can’t agree,” Bucky sighed shaking his head. “Don’t get me wrong all of your points are completely valid. And in the real world I am behind you a hundred percent about the amping up the regulating and finding a way to get dirty gun’s off the streets. But to me, in my world, I don’t want any guns. I know it is an extreme opinion and lets be honest, ridiculous, but its what I believe. I’ve seen personally the damage gun’s do,” he said staring directly into the camera. “I’ve lived the carnage of war and I would give anything to put an end to it, to all violence. I don’t want to see any more dead kids, or grieving families, or veteran’s like me,” Bucky continued holding up his metal arm for all to see. “Nothing good comes of war. So if I could take away the weapons of war and violence, take away the guns, then I would gladly violate your rights to do it.” Bucky paused to look away with a sigh running a hand through his hair, he really did need it cut he was turning into a hobo again. “That said I know that will never happen. So in the end we agree. I’m sorry if I got a bit… crazed there but that is one of the issues that just gets under my skin,” he explained giving an involuntary shiver. “Anyway, technically I think you win this round. See you, Steve,” he shooting the camera a warm smile before ending the video.

Or the inane chatter and joke war that resulted when Natasha forced Bucky to join Twitter.

“Alright so ending message for today is a bit of news. I’ve finally been pressured into joining twitter, though I’m still unconvinced as to its need,” he mumbled half to himself before shaking off the thoughts. “Anyway I’ve joined twitter and I’ll put the link or handle or whatever its called in the info and up here in the corner,” he said pointed to the top right. “The reason I am doing this is to live tweet the season premiere of Project Runway, which as you have probably guessed is one of my favorite shows. That happens in two days so join me on Twitter and send me any comments or questions you have. Alright my Winter’s Children, thank you for tuning in and remember I love you. Whoever, whatever, and wherever you are know that I care ever so deeply for you. Be safe, be happy, and remember to tweet me, Bucky out,” he winked.

The night began innocently enough. He’d received quite a few tweets simply welcoming him to the social network. Once the show started he tried his best to write interesting commentary. Natasha sat at his elbow munching on popcorn under the guise of helping him but really just to drink his beer and sass him.

steverogers wrote: _@bbarnes welcome to the modern age how you liking it? Also what do you think of that girl from Eugene, seems a bit rude_

Bucky bit back an excited grin, could this be Steve?

bbarnes wrote: _@steverogers that you steve? and no need to sass i know i’m technologically challenged. yea that lady is throwing a forest’s worth of shade_

Grinning to himself Bucky started a new post talking about his dislike for the former designer that was brought back and how the whole idea seemed wrong to him. Refreshing his page he zoned in quickly on the reply from Steve.

steverogers wrote: _@bbarnes yes its me! It’s ok to be slow. Also compliments on the sassy remark. So how’s it going?_

bbarnes wrote: _@steverogers good so far people seem interested. what does the resident artist think?_

In between tweets Bucky made himself answer a few other tweets from his fans, it would be rude to ignore him even if his attention (and quite possible racing heart) belonged to Steve.

steverogers wrote: _@bbarnes I am LOVING all the fabrics. The vibrant colors and cool prints are beautiful. I want to steal and use them for art somehow_

Bucky had to snort getting a lifted eyebrow from Natasha as she took a sip of beer that he ignored.

bbarnes wrote: _@steverogers of course that’s what you like. they are great fabrics and i want to steal them except for those grandma drape looking ones_

bbarnes wrote: @steverogers i really love the indian woman. her work is beautiful & i love the bright colors. also loving the quiet rebellion to patriarchy

“Alright what’s the smile for?” Natasha asked.

“What? I can’t be happy?” he asked looking up from the screens.

“You are smiling so stupid and so _bright_ it’s like you left the _high beams_ on. So what is the cause?” she demanded rather than asked, putting down her beer to stare him down. He didn’t dare disobey her.

“Its Steve, he’s tweeting me,” Bucky admitted a little shyly.

“Oh my god him again?” she chuckled grabbing her beer and relaxing, the interrogation already over with.

“Don’t even start,” he grumbled returning his attention to the show trying not to be bothered by her giggles.

“Don’t start?” she snorted. “You mean don’t start in on the fact that you are a love sick puppy over this kid?”

“I am not.”

“Are too, and don’t start that shit with me, I always win,” she added pointing a finger at her. It was true, Natasha always won the childish game of ‘are too/are not’ through sheer patience and power of will. “So have you confessed your undying love for him? I saw you liking all his Instagram pictures.”

“H how did you know that?” he stammered in confusion.

“I know all your passwords, duh,” she said.

Bucky watched her for a long moment before stating in awe, “you’re amazing Nat, terrifying, but amazing.”

“Thanks.”

Refocusing on the show Bucky quickly crafted a new tweet before going through the small list of one’s he had received. As usual, Steve had a reply waiting for him.

steverogers wrote: _@bbarnes I even love those grandma drapes I want to deconstruct them or burn them, artfully of course. Peggy agrees with me, we want them_

bbarnes wrote: _@steverogers you are probably the only ones so go on, have them & make them look beautiful instead of hideous i know you are talented enough_

steverogers wrote: _@bbarnes I will gladly take them and could probably set them on fire by how hard I’m blushing. You are incorrigible as ever you jerk_

Bucky chuckled getting an eye roll from Natasha. Clearing his throat he hid his blush in his hair and responded to a few other tweets. Waiting a few minutes Bucky allowed himself to check in on Steve’s reply.

steverogers wrote: _@bbarnes ok I am cheering for that anxious girl, she looks so terrified I just want to hug her_

bbarnes wrote: _@steverogers i know exactly how you feel. the poor girl. i hope she does well and becomes our anxiety champion_

steverogers wrote: _@bbarnes we should try to get that trending #anxietychampion worth a try or too cheesy?_

bbarnes wrote: _lets give it a try. Attention Winter Children! i’m pulling for the sweet asian girl so lets get her handle and #anxietychampion trending_

“So have you confessed your love yet?” Natasha asked during the commercial break.

“No but should I confess your underage drinking to our parents?” he snapped back.

Natasha glared giving him the finger, which he returned without looking up. However much he loved her and however much they got along, in the end they were still brother and sister. Being siblings meant giving each other shit every now and then.

steverogers wrote: _@bbarnes I hope you get at least a little buzz going. Love the shy ones but that other woman is so mean it’s hard not to throw my own shade_

bbarnes wrote: _@steverogers i know what you mean. But you can’t get caught up in the hate. i respect her even if i don’t approve. she does nice work though_

steverogers wrote: _@bbarnes the jumpsuit is nice but Peggy disapproves, she likes the option of wearing an actual bra with clothes_

bbarnes wrote: _@steverogers she makes a good point high fashion is nice but normal women like to wear bras & aren’t size zero. the industry needs to learn_

bbarnes wrote: _@steverogers i think i will make next weeks video about the industry and how it needs more body positivity and diversity_

steverogers wrote: _@bbarnes please do its such an important topic. I want to see diversity. Maybe you should be a model or designer and rep for vets and such_

bbarnes wrote: _@steverogers very funny but i am neither of those. all i am is a nerd for fashion ___

steverogers wrote: _@bbarnes I think you would be fabulous at both. Btw your latest Instagram photo is a little bit punk rock hobo_

“I really need a haircut,” Bucky smiled running a hand through his hair with embarrassment.

“I could cut it sometime?” Natasha offered.

“Thanks, everyone is calling me a fashionable hobo.”

“You do sort of give off that vibe,” she chuckled getting an elbow in the ribs and the popcorn bowl stolen.

bbarnes wrote: _@steverogers you’ve pushed me too far i’m chopping off my hair because of you. if it becomes a disaster i’m blaming you, you monster_

steverogers wrote: _@bbarnes oh no what have I done? I like the disheveled glam rock punk hobo look but I doubt your mother approves, its very delinquent_

bbarnes wrote: _@steverogers i avoid my mom at all costs but yea she says i look like a dangerous crack head. what a compliment huh?_

steverogers wrote: _@bbarnes well she isn’t far off no offense. Also omg Nina is so mean in critiquing, on point but she is just so cruel about it_

bbarnes wrote: _@steverogers agreed she has a habit of tearing them apart. its why i love tim gunn he is much kinder and constructive with his criticism_

steverogers wrote: _@bbarnes he is so sweet to them but also knows when to call the BS. I haven’t really watched before but I love him on principle. So classy_

bbarnes wrote: _@steverogers he is the classiest. a fashion god._

“Hey stop texting your boyfriend and watch the show, they’re announcing the winner,” Natasha said elbowing him.

“Steve is not my boyfriend, he is just a, a friend. And we aren’t texting we are tweeting.”

“Oh look, you’re all technological and in denial,” she sneered.

“Shut up I’m missing the show.”

After the winner and loser were announced Bucky returned to twitter to express his opinions and chat with some of his followers. Slowly though the responses dwindled and it was really just Steve and Bucky talking to each other through twitter instead of their usual emails. They had descended into asking basic questions back at forth like a game of twenty questions.

steverogers wrote: _@bbarnes as a new comer to art if you had to pick an art movement what would it be?_

bbarnes wrote: @steverogers i guess maybe baroque from the little you’ve taught me. what about your favorite fashion style?

steverogers wrote: _@bbarnes nice choice Caravaggio is fabulous. I have a soft spot for the ridiculous 80’s with the neon but love the classic like of the 50s_

bbarnes wrote: _@steverogers i have to agree the 80’s are pretty fun. for me i love the punk rock look. the 40’s etc do have a nice aesthetic to them_

steverogers wrote: _@bbarnes Peggy wants to know your opinion of modern art cause that’s more her area. Me I think its ok but I’m a classic guy_

bbarnes wrote: _@steverogers honestly i don’t get it but some of the pieces are good. i’m just confused by it mostly. so preference on suits or uniforms?_

steverogers wrote: _@bbarnes a well-tailored suit or uniform can be hot as hell. But I think I will go uniform. Something about them just GETS to me_

Bucky blushed wondering what Steve would think if he ever saw Bucky in his military dress blues. For the moment he may channel a high fashion hobo but he could clean up well when he wanted. Bucky let the fantasy play out, a simple and rather innocent dream of meeting Steve. He wondered if his laugh sounded different in person and what his blush looked like: would it be a soft hue or a deep red that reached his ears?

"Uh Bucky,” Natasha said jolting him from his thoughts.

“What? You say something?” he asked.

“You were sort of out for a minute there,” she said waving a hand in front of his face. “Looked like you were a thousand miles away in some paradise.”

“Sorry just thinking,” he shrugged.

“About Steve?” she smiled knowingly. He didn’t answer but shot her a small glare concentrating on flipping through the channels for a new show to occupy his mind. Natasha’s smile softened and she put a hand on his shoulder. “You know you could just tell him.”

“There is nothing to tell,” he said trying and failing to lie.

“He obviously cares for you so be brave, take the leap.”

“Well maybe I’m afraid of heights,” he shrugged.

“Poetic but not true. You are a sweet, brave soul, you’ve just forgotten. I know you are scared of getting hurt again,” she said giving his metal arm a squeeze, “but you can’t let it control your life. There is no one I look up to more, or am more proud of than you. So don’t let me down, be brave,” she murmured softly.

“Nat I, I just don’t know I mean what if-” he started but she cut him off.

“Don’t get lost down that rabbit hole. Be brave big brother.”

Bucky sighed looking down at his hands flexing the joints in his metal arm. As always Natasha was right; he was scared. He had lost so much already the idea of losing more… it terrified him. But Steve, sweet Steve, made his heart race and gave him the stupid hope that maybe; just maybe he could be happy again.

“Buck?” Natasha asked after a long minute.

“Ok, I’ll try.”

“I’m so proud,” she leaned over pressing a long kiss to his cheek and ruffling his hair.

“Thanks Nat,” he smiled over.

“Well go on, tell him.”

“Ok, ok,” he pulled out his phone opening up a new tweet window.

bbarnes wrote: _@steverogers hey you’re from NY right?_

steverogers wrote: _@bbarnes yep Brooklyn originally but relocated to Manhattan for school. Why?_

Bucky looked over at Natasha for support, she gave him a nod and comforting squeeze on the shoulder. With a deep breath he send the next tweet.

bbarnes wrote: _@steverogers i’m from the area too would you want to meet up some time?_

There was a long nerve wracking pause of some minutes wherein Bucky reloaded his page at least twenty times looking for the reply, finally it appeared.

steverogers wrote: _@bbarnes I’d love that. Coffee maybe?_

Letting out the breath he had been holding Bucky managed a little smile.

bbarnes wrote: _@steverogers sounds good. i know i great diner in brooklyn, the hub, you heard of it?_

steverogers wrote: _@bbarnes yes I loved that place as a kid but haven’t been back much recently. How does this weekend work?_

bbarnes wrote: _@steverogers saturday morning? not too early of course_

steverogers wrote: _@bbarnes how about 11am?_

bbarnes wrote: _@steverogers perfect, i’ll see you then_

steverogers wrote: _@bbarnes can’t wait! I’m off to the studio now so good night sleep tight ___

bbarnes wrote: _@steverogers don’t work too hard, bye_

Letting out a groaning sigh Bucky tossed his phone on the coffee table and slumped back. Natasha patted him on the head pushing a beer into his hand and murmuring over and over about how proud she was of her sweet, and courageous older brother. He nodded along rubbing at his temple and wondering if he had just made the biggest mistake of his life or the greatest.

-

Across the city Steve was not in fact in the studio but pacing back and forth across his room babbling to Peggy over the phone. “He wants to meet me, Peg! Bucky, he, oh my god, he wants to meet me!”

“Yea I know Steve, I got that much,” she winced.

“Sorry I just, oh my god,” he yelped.

“Steve, darling, calm down you are going to blow my speakers out.”

“Right sorry, I’m just in shock.”

“So you’re meeting him?”

“Yea this Saturday at The Hub, you remember that place?”

“Oh yea, so dinner date or lunch?”

“Just coffee.”

“Safe choice for a first date, I like it.”

“Its not, its not a date,” he blushed stammering out.

“Uh huh but you want it to be?”

“Its just coffee.”

“Well maybe it will become lunch and dinner and _breakfast_ ,” Peggy said and he could practically hear her smirk and the wiggle of her eyebrows.

“I hate you so much,” he grumbled flushing a deep red.

“Ok sorry, so coffee huh?”

“Yea.”

“I can hear you panicking, stop it,” she ordered.

“Sorry I’m just, what if it goes horribly? What if he hates me? What if I spill coffee all over his nice clothes? Oh shit I need something to wear I can’t show up looking like a grandpa,” he cursed looking down at his trousers and frumpy layers.

“Don’t worry we’ll pick you out an outfit tomorrow, we’ll even go shopping if need be. Stay calm, there is no possible way he will hate you even if you spill your coffee.”

“I know but.”

“But you’re madly in love with him and don’t want to fuck it up, I get it.”

“I never said love.”

“Doesn’t mean it isn’t true. This is a good thing so don’t go twisting yourself up into knots over little nothing’s. Take a deep breath and remember, you like this guy, you’ve been dreaming of this, ok?”

“Ok,” he nodded taking a few deep breaths.

“Good now go for a run or head to the studio before you drive yourself insane. I’ll see you in class tomorrow, ok?”

“Ok, thank you Peggy.”

“You’re welcome, just remember to breathe.”

“Right, breathing, ok, good night Peggy.”

“Night,” she called before the line dropped.

Dropping into his chair Steve spent a minute running his hands over his face still trying to process the night’s events. Bucky wanted to meet him. After all the time getting to know each other online it was finally going to become real, tangible. “Fuck,” he whispered jumping to his feet. Throwing a few art supplies into his bag he headed to the studio at a jog. Steve ignored his triptych and instead started on a new painting to help vent his nerves upon the blank canvas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so first of thank you all for your lovely comments and supports. its good to know you guys are enjoying this. i hope you liked this newest chapter and please let me know what you think and if you see any mistakes.  
> secondly though this chapter nearly killed me. all of the tweets are within the 140 character limit and bucky not capitalizing kills the grammar nazi in me. but it was worth it if you liked it. also the tweets about project runway are from the actual premiere of the new season because i started writing during it. so their thoughts are sort of my thoughts about the designers.  
> also fun fact Peggy's art etc is based off my lovely college roommate who is getting her BFA, including the idea of burning stuff. (she nearly set fire to the school during a project, but didn't thank god)
> 
> anyway thank you all. love, Zara


	6. Diner Of Destiny (Or In Which Coffee Is Spilled)

For the thirty-six hours leading up to the meeting (technically thirty-five and forty-three minutes but who was counting?) both young men were a bundle of nerves. The next day Steve had another little freak out with both Sam and Peggy. They found it endearing for the most part, except when Steve yelped loudly a few too many times or simply cursed “FUCK!” or “SHIT!” out of continued shock. They helped him go through his entire wardrobe and pick out an outfit that was: a) not covered in paint, b) not something a retiree would wear, and c) not some of his weirder arty clothes (this turned out to be quite a challenge).

In the end they settled on a simple white shirt (one that may have been a size too small but Peggy assured him it was perfect), a navy blue cardigan, finished off with a pair of jeans that earned him a teasing whistle from Sam, and his favorite boots even if they were paint splattered (he needed _some_ comfort).

Steve decided to spend Friday night at home. His mother, the goddess that she was, never ceased to ease his nerves. There was no malady emotional or physical that she couldn’t cure with a smile, hug, and home cooked pasta. “Steve!” Sarah Roger’s called down the hall of the little Brooklyn apartment.

“Yea?” he called back from the bathroom.

“Come out here please!”

Steve complied after running a hand over his hair one more time.

“What is it mom?” he asked.

“You’re going to be late for your date,” she smiled.

“I, its not a date ok?” he flushed.

“Well you’ll be late for _whatever_ it is,” she grinned reaching up to tuck a stray hair back in place. “You don’t want to make a bad impression so get your little butt moving, ok?”

“Ok I just.”

“Oh no,” he grabbed his arm, “you look fine, you look handsome in fact. So stop stalling and over thinking and just go.”

“You’re right,” he sighed.

“I always am,” she nodded solemnly. Reaching up she cupped his face in her hands. “It’ll be fine, just go and be yourself and this Bucky will have no choice but to fall in love with you like everyone else.”

“Thanks mom,” he flushed but his smile was soft and loving.

“Be brave darling.”

“I will.”

“Good, now get going,” she nodded stepping back.

“Ok, ok I am doing this,” he nodded. Taking a few steps towards the door he swiveled around to lean over and press a kiss to his mother’s cheek. “Love you ma,” he murmured.

“Love you too, honey,” she smiled gently shooing him off.

The closer Steve got to The Hub the more nervous he got. He somehow managed to slump down in one of the booths at the window and order a coffee despite most of his brain shutting down. He looked up every time the little bell above the door jingled, each innocent customer raising his heart rate.

Finally though after what seemed an eternity to Steve, but was probably only ten minutes, _he_ arrived. The little bell rang and as usual Steve looked up and froze. To put it plainly Bucky was beautiful, gorgeous, shit he didn’t have the words. The vlogger shuffled through the door glancing over the diner’s customers searching. His hair was disheveled as if having been abused by fingers run through it more than a few times. He was dressed simply: white v-neck, plaid shirt, jeans, and a denim jacket in one hand. To anyone else he looked normal, just another faceless stranger. To Steve though, well to Steve he looked something like the world, the sun, moon, stars, and the whole goddamn universe.

Steve stared in shock only to give a little jump when their eyes connected. He gave an awkward little wave, attempting to control his blush as Bucky made his way over to the booth.

Bucky slide in across from him and for a long moment they just looked at each other in silence. Finally though Bucky spoke, his eyes crinkling with a smile, “hi.”

“Uh hey,” Steve murmured back.

“You’re bigger than I expected.”

“I, I’m sorry what?” he asked in confused.

“You don’t look as beefy in the videos,” Bucky explained with a light blush gesturing to Steve’s general person. “I never thought you were little or something, and it’s not bad,” he quickly added, “you’re just a lot… more muscled,” he finished.

“Oh, uh yea,” Steve shrugged.

“Sorry, that was weird huh?” Bucky asked with a little huff of laugh, and dear god his laugh was better in person. Steve was definitely doomed.

“No its, its fine, you’re,” Steve paused trying to pick an adjective that wasn’t creepy or strange. “You’re handsome, but I sort of expected that.”

“Well that’s a relief,” he smiled.

“Do you um want something?” Steve asked pushing the menu he’d been fiddling with a little way across the table.

“Uh sure,” he picked it up, glancing it over before putting it back down, looking around for a waitress who was busy with another table.

“I’m sure she’ll be along soon,” Steve said.

“Yea.”

“So um,” god this was awkward, _'what was he supposed to say?’ ___

“I’m sorry if this is weird, I’m not very good in social situations,” Bucky blushed.

“What? No, no you’re fine I’m kind of a spaz.”

“Would you like to start over?”

"Sure,” Steve sighed with relief.

“Hi, I’m Bucky,” he said offering a hand.

“Steve, and its great to finally meet you.”

“Same here.”

There was another silence as they smiled at each other. It was oddly comfortable. They were jerked from their reverie when the waitress came over, politely asking if they’d like anything.

“Uh I’ll have a coffee and bacon cheeseburger, its that's ok? I haven’t eaten yet,” he added looking over at Steve.

“No of course, I’ll have the same,” Steve said.

“Be right back,” she winked at Steve before bustling away.

“I’m sorry if you just wanted coffee but I haven’t been to the store in a while and my kitchen’s starting to look pretty barren.”

“No it’s totally fine I was kinda hungry anyway.”

“Ok good,” Bucky nodded relaxing some.

“So you’re from around here?”

“Not too far, but I’ve got a shitty little apartment in the city,” he shrugged. “And you too right?”

“Yea I live like fifteen minutes from here.”

“That’s nice, I’ve always kind of liked Brooklyn there’s something about it, some sort of vibe that I like.”

“Agreed, the city can get stuffy but out here,” Steve trailed off looking out the window. Looking back he couldn’t help but smile still reeling that _Bucky was here, he was real._ “So how are you?” he asked simply.

“I’m… I’m ok I guess.”

“And that means?” Steve asked with a little frown.

“It means I’m not great, but it could be worse.”

“That doesn’t sound very good.”

“I’m still piecing my life together. To be honest all I’ve really got is my blog and my sister… and you,” he added with a nervous little smile, giving his lip a little bite.

Steve blush red hoping it didn’t reach his ears, “well I’m glad you’ve got me.”

“So am I.”

“So you’re close with your sister?”

“Yea I am she gets me,” Bucky nodded with a fond smile, eyes glazing slightly as he thought of his sister. Looking back at Steve he continued, “actually she is the one who made me ask to meet you.”

“Then I owe her.”

“We _both_ owe her. Do you have any siblings?”

“No it’s just me and my mom.”

“Oh and that girl you’ve mentioned, uh Peggy?”

“Peggy is my best friend and basically one of the greatest women ever.”

“She sounds awesome,” Bucky chuckled. It was a light little laugh that definitely did things to Steve’s heart, awful skipping beats and sudden halts, and it was somehow amazing.

“She is. Do you have a best friend?”

“I dunno I’ve got my army buddies and Nat, is it sad my little sister is my best friend?”

“I think its sweet. So wait, Nat is your sister?”

“Yes, what’d you think she was?” Bucky frowned.

“I, I don’t know maybe your girlfriend,” Steve mumbled now feeling completely stupid.

“Oh no, no, no,” Bucky laughed again. “I love her and she’s amazing but no, Natasha’s just my little sister.”

“God I feel like an idiot,” Steve groaned burying his face in his hands.

“Hey its ok, I haven’t talked about her much online so it’s not your fault.”

“Ok well now I know,” Steve, mumbled blushing a deep red and still hiding behind one hand.

Steve’s embarrassment was spared when the waitress returned with a cup for Bucky, pouring them both out large mugs. She left sending another little wink Steve’s way that he of course didn’t notice, too busy watching Bucky. He was not mesmerized, no, not in the least. Bucky immediately pulled the little cup of sugar and creamers over, dumping a hefty amount of both in.

Glancing up he blushed hiding a smile under his hair, “I’ve kind of got a sweet tooth.”

“No its sweet,” Steve grinned grabbing a sugar packet of his own.

Bucky sat up raising an eyebrow, “did you just make a joke?”

“I think so,” he winced with a little chuckle, “a very bad one, oops.”

“You are such a dork,” Bucky snorted shaking his head.

“Glad you like it,” Steve chuckled letting some of his nerves ebb away. “I may come off relatively normal online but in reality I’m a huge blushing dork.”

“No I like it,” Bucky nodded grinning over his coffee at him. Steve was reminded of a few of his dreams but this, this was better. Bucky’s pale grey-blue eyes crinkled at the corners in a smile, watching him like he was the only thing in the world. Steve’s heart sped up just watching him. With a force of will he looked away concentrating on his coffee, and definitely not on the handsome man across the table from him.

-

Bucky was not ok. It really wasn’t fair. He’d liked Steve in the beginning; he’d been cute and sweet. But no, no the universe decided to make the young man gorgeous and about five times out of Bucky’s league. Only Bucky could find the hottest of all beefcakes in New York (hell probably America and a safe bet on the world too) and fall for him. His crush was _really_ going to be a problem now.

“So how’s the big painting coming?” 

“Pretty well I think but it’s exhausting.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Ah its ok I don’t mind. I will gladly spend the rest of my life perfecting it if I have to.”

“Its about your mom right?”

“Cheesy I know but whatever,” Steve said obviously trying to be nonchalant but failing adorable.

“I think its sweet that you care so much. Do you have any pictures?”

“Um yea I took one a few days ago,” Steve fumbled for his phone. Sorting through it he passed it to Bucky, and shit, their fingers touched. Bucky took a moment to watch his hands and whoa, since when were hands nice? Steve had large strong hands but there was nimbleness to them, a grace that probably translated into his art. Also when did Bucky get flustered over _hands?_ Oh god, he needed to call Nat first chance before he said something stupid.

“Nice,” he blurted watching Steve pull his hands back, nervously tugging them.

“You like it?”

Bucky immediately turned his attention to the phone and yep, Steve was talented, damn him. “Its beautiful, I can’t wait to see it finished, you’ll show me when you do right?” he asked passing it back.

“Of course,” he nodded eagerly.

“So if you spend all your time on that, what about your other classes?”

“I mean I still do that homework,” Steve shrugged with a guilty smile, “maybe just not as well as I could. Don’t get me wrong they are all interesting classes but this project is more than just for school. In the end its probably my friends I have to thank for reminding me there is life outside the studio, and other homework outside of it too,” he added with a dramatic frown.

“Ugh homework, just the thought takes me back,” Bucky shivered. “I still have nightmares about not studying for a test or forgetting homework and I left school almost _five years ago_. You’d think at some point you stopped worrying.”

“I think I read an article somewhere that people still have bad dreams about school decades later. I guess everyone freaks out over it.”

“I completely get that,” Bucky shook his head.

“So what about you? Started any projects?”

“No,” he sighed looking down at his coffee. Of course Steve was brilliant and talented and Bucky, he was just some bartender. Shit, he could feel the panic rising. Taking a deep breath he concentrated on his coffee. He was past the anxiety, he was ok, he was ok, he was ok, _right?_

“Hey you ok?” Steve frowned.

“Fine,” Bucky nodded stiffly.

He had forgotten he was holding his coffee mug and it was then that his bionic arm tightened, crushing it into a hundred pieces and sending coffee everywhere. They both jumped back yelling, “holy shit!” as they scrambled away. Steve managed to send his coffee flying as well. The pair found themselves dripping in hot coffee with a diner full of confused and surprised patrons for an audience.

“Holy… fuck,” Bucky whispered in shock.

“Shit, I, I, I’m sorry,” Steve stuttered out looking between the two of them in horror.

“You’re sorry? I’m sorry!” Bucky corrected.

“Uh gentlemen?” the waitress asked approaching them cautiously.

“Uh sorry could have some um, napkins please?” Steve asked with an apologetic smile.

“Or a towel?” Bucky added.

“Yea I’ll be right back,” she nodded hurrying away, giving them weird looks over her shoulder as she went.

“I am so sorry,” Bucky murmured quietly. “I didn’t mean to break the mug, sometimes I forget how strong the arm is. I am so, so sorry Steve.”

“What? No you’re fine you startled me is all. I’m the one who threw my coffee at you.”

“But I made you.”

“You didn’t.”

“Yea but.”

“Bucky,” Steve reached across the table and took his hand. “Its fine, I actually predicted I’d spill coffee everywhere, really its ok,” Steve assured him.

“You’re sure?”

“Yea,” he chuckled, “yea its fine.”

“You’re amazing,” Bucky said with a little laugh.

“Um here you go,” the waitress said handing them a few dishtowels and at least fifty napkins. “Your food will be out in a minute, do you uh want more coffee?”

“Uh no I think we’re good,” Bucky laughed plucking at his shirt.

“Thank you,” Steve said baying the woman goodbye as she retreated.

“I’m definitely leaving a huge tip, maybe fifty percent,” Bucky murmured as they began to mop themselves and their booth up.

“Definitely. God Peggy and Sam are going to laugh so hard when I tell them.”

“Nat is probably going to smack me upside the head and _then_ have a big laugh.”

“Well at least it can’t get worse we’ve already embarrassed ourselves and made a mess.”

“Not much room left for much disaster but I’m sure I’ll find a way,” Bucky muttered half to himself.

“So can I ask?” Steve said after a few minutes of cleaning.

“What?”

“Why’d you really break the mug?”

“I just forgot is all,” Bucky mumbled purpose his gaze.

“Somehow I don’t believe that. You know you can tell me, I’m your friend Bucky or at least I’d like to be.”

Bucky looked up finally and found Steve watching him with wide blue eyes filled with genuine concern and interest. He sighed, he couldn’t say no to that look. “I was nervous.”

“Nervous? About what?”

“You.”

Steve made a face, “me?”

“Yes you.”

“But I’m,” he looked down at himself, “me.”

Bucky gaped, “seriously?”

“Yes seriously, ok, I’m confused,” he huffed stopping his cleaning.

“You are amazing Steve,” Bucky stated in a tone that left no room for argument. “You’re handsome, and sweet, and talented. And I’m, I’m just a bartender who happens to like fashion. You are incredible, Steve, how did you not know?” he frowned.

“Because you’re crazy I’m just some nerdy art kid. You’re the astonishing one.”

“Like hell.”

“Bucky you’re a war veteran who literally inspires and helps people love themselves for who they are. You’re incredibly smart, and talented, and handsome as hell.”

They sat in silence staring at each other.

“So wait, you, you really think that?” Bucky asked in complete confusion.

“Of course,” Steve nodded as if it was obvious.

“I, I, wow,” he stammered out lamely.

“Same here.”

“So are we… just a pair of idiots?” he asked slowly.

“Yea, I think we are,” Steve smiled melting Bucky’s heart.

“You really are something,” Bucky murmured in awe.

“Not so bad yourself,” Steve said only for them to break into snorts of laughter. “Sorry that was such an awful answer, you are amazing though.”

“Thanks and no, I get it,” Bucky chuckled, “it came out naturally.”

Moping up best they could the pair finally relaxed, their nerves ebbing away as the coffee dried. Steve and Bucky spent most of the afternoon in their little coffee stained booth talking about everything and nothing. At times they gleefully talked about a shared interest, at times others they were at odds and ferociously debated each other, and sometimes they let a comfortable silence over take them. They shared little grins across coffee cups, and even have a milkshake drinking contest that ended in brain freeze and another debate on who _really_ won. It was boring, it was fun, and it was terrifyingly perfect.

“So,” Bucky sighed as they exited The Hub quite a few hours later.

“So,” Steve repeated.

“I had a lot of fun.”

“Me too, maybe we can do this again.”

“I’d like that.”

There was another awkward silence, as neither knew what to say and neither really wanted to part anyway. “I um should go I guess, Nat will be wanting all the details.”

“Yea my mom is waiting. So I guess I’ll see you in your next video or whenever,” Steve said just as awkwardly.

“Yea guess so.”

After a long agonizing moment Bucky put out his hand, “thanks.”

“Thank you,” Steve smiled and shit, hours later that smile was still messing with his heart.

Through sheer force of will Bucky let go and backed up a few steps, “bye, good luck with school.”

“Good luck with life,” Steve called back with a grin.

Smiling Bucky turned around trotting down the street, glancing back to see Steve’s muscular back disappearing the opposite direction. Bucky wasn’t giddy, no, never, he was just happy. The date, no _the meeting_ , may have began in disaster but somehow that made it all the more perfect. He’d actually met Steve and heard his deep laugh, and seen his bright red blush, and felt his _real_ fingers close around his wrist. So no he wasn’t giddy, that didn’t do it justice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> they finally met!! i know this chapter may have turned out a bit ridiculous and very fluffy but i hope you enjoyed it. to me these two are just a pair of nervous nerds. let me know what you think of it!  
> much love, Zara


	7. Reckless Honesty

Bucky met up with Natasha back in the city where she’d spent the afternoon waiting for his call and shopping with her boyfriend. Clint was an odd kid, into archery and gymnastics of all things, but wicked smart and the only other person who Bucky knew that could keep up with Natasha’s sass and sarcasm.

“I knew it would work out,” Natasha smirked getting a fist bump from Clint.

“Fine you were right, though technically it was a disaster.”

“Only the first bit.”

“We terrified the entire diner.”

“Doesn’t matter, still good first date.”

“Yea I mean ours was way more explosive,” Clint added.

“It wasn’t a date,” he frowned not sure if he was mad at his sister or the fact that it hadn’t been a date.

“Basically was.”

“I still don’t know if he likes me.”

“You literally shattered a mug and soaked him in hot coffee and he stayed, _he laughed_ , Bucky,” Natasha said stopping in the street to confront him. “He fucking likes you.”

“Ok,” he admitted a little intimidated.

“Ok, so invite him out again.”

“For what?”

“I don’t know everything, I can’t run your entire life you know.”

“You’re a real bitch you know that?”

“And you’re a pussy. Now go on I’m going to try on that dress so while I’m busy you tweet him or whatever, and you,” she pointed at Clint, “you stay out of trouble.”

“Yes ma’am,” he saluted but with a cheeky grin.

“I swear to god, _fucking men_ ,” she muttered rolling her eyes and storming into the store leaving the pair to wander in after her.

Bucky sat in one of the little chairs scattered about the store. He stared down at his phone trying to figure out some way to ask to see Steve again without being weird. They’d hardly been apart an hour. In the ended he settled on a simple tweet.

bbarnes wrote: _hey @steverogers we should hang out again, that coffee the great or at least the few sips i got_

Looking it over one last time he closed out of the application and turned on one of his mindless games while he waited for Natasha. The trio was tossed out of the store ten minutes later after Clint pulled one of his stunts. While Natasha gave the boy a lecture she couldn’t completely hid the smile that pulled at her lips, and gave in to a kiss only ten minutes later. Rolling his eyes Bucky excused himself, letting the teens enjoy their Saturday in order to return to his little apartment and shower before work to rinse off the coffee. He spent the rest of the evening pining after a certain blond vlogger.

-

Steve almost skipped home, almost, but he restrained himself. He was still beaming as he opened the door to his home. “Steve?” his mother asked sticking her head into the hall.

“Hey mom.”

“Went well?” she smiled upon spotting his wide grin.

“Pretty well yea.”

“I knew it would you just, what happened to your clothes?” she asked mid sentence. She plucked at his coffee stained white shirt in mild horror.

“I spilled some coffee.”

“Some? This looks like a full pot. What happened?”

“We both sort of spilled our coffee, it was actually quite a sight,” he admitted.

“Oh dear,” Sarah tutted shaking her head.

“No mom honestly its fine, I mean I definitely need to send this through the wash a few times,” Steve grinned looking down at his clothes. “But it went fine, better than fine it was amazing.”

“Really?” she asked lifting an eyebrow looking him over.

“Yes,” he nodded.

Sarah Rogers relaxed, “I’m glad honey. Now before you tell me about it go and change and we’ll throw those straight into the laundry,” she ordered shooing him towards his bedroom.

“Yes ma, be right back,” he called still grinning as he wandered to his room stripping off his coffee encrusted clothes.

After a shower to get the last of the coffee out of his pores Steve sat down with his mother to recount for her the details of the meeting (it _wasn’t a date_ whatever everyone else said). Sarah listened intently laughing as he explained the coffee incident, her smile softening as he rambled about Bucky. “That sounds wonderful dear,” she murmured when he eventually trailed off.

“It was.”

“I’m so happy you found him.”

“Me too.”

“Are you going to see him again?”

“Yea, I mean I hope so, we didn’t exactly agree to anything.”

“Maybe you should text him or whatever it’s called.”

“We didn’t exchange numbers.”

“Well email him then, even I can do that.”

“I don’t want to be weird, ma.”

“What do you have to wait three days or something?”

“No but.”

“But you’re a nervous little sweetheart I know,” she patted his arm while he blushed. “At least think about it, I’m sure he’d love to hear from you.”

“ _Ma_ ,” he huffed.

“All right, all right no more embarrassing advice for today,” she chuckled softly. “How about I whip up some lasagna, we’ll watch a movie, and I won’t ask anymore about this boy.”

“That sounds perfect.”

“Good now while I’m cooking you do some homework, I know you’ve got an assignment for history due Monday.”

“Yes ma.”

Steve spent the rest of his Saturday chatting with his mom as they each worked. He knew that other twenty-year-olds might be out partying but he was perfectly content to cozy up on the couch with his mother and watch The Wizard of Oz. she bade him goodnight with a kiss on the forehead leaving him to channel surf. Two episodes into a Twilight Zone marathon he gave in to the itch and grabbed his laptop. Opening it up he checked all his accounts wondering if Bucky had written, and if he hadn’t, if Steve should say something. And there it was, a tweet waiting for him.

bbarnes wrote: _@steverogers we should hang out again, that coffee the great or at least the few sips i got_

Steve smiled to himself at the memory and typed out his own reply. Bucky’s interest gave him courage, and just a little bit of hope.

steverogers wrote: _@bbarnes I would love to see you again and maybe this time we’ll actually get something to drink_

Still grinning stupidly he pulled out his phone in order to tell Peggy all about the day’s events (and reaffirm it was _not_ a date, no matter how much he wished).

He didn’t hear back from Bucky until the next day where he found a tweet waiting for him.

bbarnes wrote: _@steverogers when are you free? also check out my new video, you get another mention_

Steve immediately pulled out his laptop and logged on, going through his subscriptions to find Bucky’s new video. This one was about performance fashion where he talked about some of the better costumes and then the stranger, with a whole section dedicated to Lady Gaga and her very unique wardrobe. At the end though as promised he made mention of Steve, that piece looked like it had been filmed last night.

“I’d also like to give another shout out to Boyfrombrooklyn. I met him this weekend and he’s a wonderful kid so you should all go check out his blogs, the links are in the description. I’d also like to apologize for soaking him in coffee, next time I promise I’ll at least spill something that isn’t scalding hot,” he grinned into the camera. “Alright all my Winter Children, good luck with life and as always remember: I love you. No matter who you are I care about you and think you are wonderful, and I hope you love yourself too. See you next week, Bucky out,” he winked before the video ended.

Grinning to himself over the joke Steve opened up his twitter to reply.

steverogers wrote: _@bbarnes thanks for the mention it was great. I am free any time this week in the evenings, but not for too long, still got my project_

“What’s that smile for?” Sarah Roger’s asked ruffling his hair as she passed.

“Nothing.”

“By nothing you mean Bucky?”

“Yes,” he mumbled with a light blush.

“Should I just assume that from now on ‘nothing’ means Bucky?” she smirked.

“Ma,” he whined blushing deeper.

“What? I can’t poke a little fun.”

“You are as bad as my friends.”

“Well your friends are right, we can’t help but tease our precious blushing flower.”

“I am not a flower.”

“No you are a handsome young man,” she amended. “So how about my handsome boy does a little housework before he abandons me?”

“Sure thing,” he sighed putting aside his laptop.

“Good, do you mind vacuuming and maybe cleaning the bathroom a little?”

“Of course, anything else?”

“Tidy up your room. You’re clean for a kid but you still manage to muss everything up,” she chuckled softly.

“I’m on it.”

“Good boy, breakfast in half an hour,” she said beginning to pull down ingredients.

Bucky’s response appeared hours later when Steve was back at school hanging out with Sam and Peggy in her dorm room. His friends were heatedly debating which movie to watch; Peggy wanted to see Clue while Sam wanted to watch Shaun Of The Dead. He absently pulled out his phone while his friends bickered and checked his notifications to find the tweet.

bbarnes wrote: _@steverogers how does wednesday sound? any time and place works for me after six_

“Hey guys?” Steve asked intruding on their debate.

“What?” Sam asked.

“Is it crazy to see Bucky again?”

“Only crazy if you don’t,” Sam snorted.

“Did he ask you out?” Peggy asked.

“We’re planning to meet up again.”

“Oh where?”

“Well we’ve only gotten as far as date and time, Wednesday night sound’s ok, right?” he asked. Steve was utterly lost when it came to Bucky, the last thing he wanted was to mess it up.

“Sounds fine,” Peggy said sharing a look with Sam after which they both rolled their eyes.

“What was that for?” Steve frowned.

“You are adorable but so, so, _so_ inept, it’s sad and sweet.”

“Gee thanks,” he grumbled.

“Just answer him, it’ll be fine. I mean you already doused him in coffee, not much else you can do to drive him off,” Peggy shrugged.

Steve opened up a new tweet, still frowning and blushing while his friends resumed their little squabble.

steverogers wrote: _@bbarnes that works for me, where should we meet? ___

bbarnes wrote: _@steverogers know any good café’s or places to eat? ___

Steve thought for a moment chewing his lip before he responded.

steverogers wrote: _@bbarnes there is a nice all night café on 7th a few blocks from the park called Asgard. Nice place but with some sassy workers ___

bbarnes wrote: _@steverogers i’m intrigued, how does 6:30 sounds? ___

steverogers wrote: _@bbarnes perfect I’ll be there ___

bbarnes wrote: _@steverogers great i can’t wait. i’ve got work now but you should get back to your projects so you have time to hang ___

steverogers wrote: _@bbarnes ugh fine I will. Have fun at work! ___

“So what’s the word?” Sam asked after giving in to Peggy who was setting up the movie on her laptop.

“We’re meeting at Asgard at 6:30.”

“For a date?” Peggy asked.

“No just meeting.”

“Fine but next time I’m making you ask him out for real.”

“Like hell.”

“Don’t try my Rogers, you know I always win in the end.”

“I can barely ask him to meet for coffee, you really think you can get me to ask him out for real? Good luck,” he said with a little mirthless laugh.

-

Bucky made it through the week all right but as Wednesday approached his anxiety grew. Steve had reassured him last time but that didn’t stop the awful feelings to bubble up. He made sure to take an extra Clonazepam before he headed to the coffee shop, hoping it would kick in as he arrived.

Uncertainly entering the café he found Steve waiting already sipping a large coffee and looking a little disheveled. He gave a little wave before lining up, glancing over every few moments to share a grin with the young man. Finally getting his frappuccino-esque drink, from a very sarcastic barista, he edged through the tables to sit down across from Steve.

“You weren’t kidding about the sweet tooth huh?” Steve asked.

“I know but I brush my teeth, never had a cavity.”

“Good for you.”

“So get work done on your project?” he asked noting the little speckles of paint in his hair and one on his jaw.

“Yes I got a little more done but it’s _far_ from finished,” he groaned.

“At least you’re making progress, how’s the rest of school?”

“Good, I have an early class tomorrow,” he answered making a disgruntled face.

“Ouch, how early?”

“Nine.”

“Double ouch,” Bucky winced on his behalf.

“What about you? How are you?”

“About the same: working at the bar and making videos.”

“What’s the topic for this week?”

“I’m doing a body positivity one about the fashion industry, I got inspired by our chat about Project Runway.”

“Oh nice.”

“I guess, I’ve done a few already but it’s an important subject that needs to be brought up every now and again.”

“I agree completely, the standards are ridiculous.”

“Yea I mean don’t get me wrong models are beautiful and so are the fashions but I’d rather see healthier models. They should show us what people actually look like off the runway.”

“Yea I mean even for guys, in high school I got beat up a lot just for being scrawny.”

“You were scrawny?” Bucky asked lifting a dubious eyebrow.

“Yes believe it or not. Three years ago I was a foot shorter and about a hundred and thirty pounds at best.”

“I guess you really kicked puberty’s ass because I can’t believe that.”

“Oh its real I have the embarrassing photos to prove it.”

“I think I need to see that, pics or it didn’t happen and all that.”

“I think I’ll have to decline for now, believe me they are _extremely_ awful.”

“One day,” Bucky murmured, “one day I’ll see them, that’s my new mission.”

“Well that day is a ways off,” he chuckled. “What about you? What were you like in high school?”

“I dunno I guess the stereotypical jock: played sports, went to a few parties, got decent grades. There’s not much to stay really, I did what my family wanted including joining up.”

“Do you regret it?”

“A bit yes I mean I lost my arm,” he said rubbing the cool metal of his bionic limb. “But I did believe, still do, that we needed to intervene and try to put a stop to tyranny. The mission may have gone awry, and there is so much politics involved too, but someone had to try and stop those bad men.”

“Do you think we’ll ever get out of there completely?”

“I honestly don’t know. The politics are so confusing it could take decades or we might give up and leave completely. Either way the people there, the innocents, are going to keep struggling as they try to put their county and their lives back together.”

Steve smiled softly, “that’s really nice. I think we tend to forget the innocent people caught up in all this.”

“I met a lot of locals over there, lots of sweet kids who just wanted to play a little soccer with us. They don’t deserve all the hardships they’ve been put through. If I knew some way to really make a difference for them I could. For now though, it seems they are stuck while terrorists and politicians messing things up.”

Steve shook his head with a hapless smile, “You are truly something you know that? I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone, or will meet anyone, who is as sweet and intelligent as you are. That was really beautiful and articulate.”

“Um thanks,” Bucky blushed, “I mean its nothing special, its just what I know from all that I saw over there.”

“Well its important to me.”

“That’s nice of you to say.”

“And it’s true, I’m a very honest man.”

“Now _that_ I do believe.”

“Oh? And what else do you believe?”

“That you are a talented artist, sweet soul, and still lacking in fashion sense,” he teased lightly.

“I did warn you, this was the best I could do on short notice.”

“You don’t need to try and impress me, I already think you’re great.”

“Well you haven’t seen some of my outfits, Peggy has seriously tried to burn one of my sweaters.”

“Did she?”

“Almost but I saved it. It’s pretty ugly but very warm and comfortable so now I try not to wear it around her or she makes faces.”

“It can’t be that bad.”

“Oh its bad, I won an ugly sweater contest with it last Christmas,” he said sending them both into a small fit of chuckles. 

-

The pair of young men remained in their spot long after finishing their coffees hunched forward slightly to decrease the distance as they talked about anything and everything they could think of. They were interrupted however, when Steve’s phone went off.

“Its Peggy give me a second,” he said excusing himself from the table before answering. “Hi, you need something?”

“Not really why?” she answered nonchalantly.

“Then why did you call?” he huffed.

“Because you said to call at nine thirty to make sure you got back in time to work.”

“Wait its nine already?” he asked pulling his phone away to check.

“Its nearly ten.”

“Shit,” he swore looking back at Bucky who waited patiently.

“Having too much fun?” she asked and he could hear the smirk.

Steve blushed but answered honestly, “Yes, ugh shit it can’t be so late already.”

“Sorry my love, so you going to blow off homework or Bucky?”

Steve gave an unhappy little moan, “fuck, fuck, fuck, alright I’ll be back soon, fuck I hate homework.”

“I’m sure he’ll understand.”

“He probably will but this still sucks.”

“That’s life, Steve.”

“Fuck, ok I’ll be back soon.”

“Don’t forget to ask him out,” she trilled

“Peggy!” he hissed.

“What? Someone has to push you.”

“I, I can’t ok? Its hard,” he said blushing as he looked over at Bucky again.

“Ok, ok be safe on the subway, let me know when you’re home.”

“I will,” he said before hanging up. With a sigh Steve walked back to the table, “hi, sorry about that.”

“Its fine, everything ok?”

“Yes she was just reminding me to head back before it gets too late.”

“How late is it?”

“Nearly ten if you can believe it.”

“Whoa, time really flew by.

“I know, I had a great time but I do actually have to go,” he winced.

“Its ok I understand,” Bucky smiled standing and walking with him to the door. “It is late and I finished my coffee at least an hour ago.”

“Thanks for understanding.”

“Its really no problem Steve,” he said ducking out the door that Steve held for him. Pausing on the street he bit his lip before asking uncertainly, “would you mind if I walked you to the subway? Or you taking a cab?”

“Subway of course,” Steve snorted, “I’m a poor college kid on scholarship.”

“Ok good just checking,” he chuckled. “Well lead on kid.”

“You know I’m not a kid,” Steve said as they wandered down the street.

“How old are you anyway?” Bucky frowned over at him.

“Twenty, and you?”

“Nearly twenty-four, god you make me feel so old and tiny,” he shivered.

“Of come on its not that bad.”

“You’ve got at least thirty pounds of muscle on me if not more and you’re still a sweet young thing.”

“So what does that make you? A crotchety old man?”

“Basically.”

“You’re being dramatic.”

“I am not and don’t sass your elders you little punk,” Bucky said pointing an accusing finger at Steve making him laugh.

“Little punk?” he asked giving Bucky’s hair a playful little ruffle.

“Hey,” he yelped giving him a light punch and shove sending both of them into a fit of chuckles. Still smiling they made it to the subway, going through the gates together before stopping where the tunnels split.

“I’m this way,” Steve said thumbing over his shoulder.

“And I’m this way,” Bucky said pointing behind him. “So I guess I’ll see you around then,” he murmured awkwardly.

“Yea, um, see you,” Steve nodded biting his lip.

Exchanging awkward waves they both turned heading down the individual tunnels. Steve mentally cursed himself for letting the night get away from him. He had meant to say something to Bucky about his crush, at least test the waters, but he’d gotten distracted by his smile and laughter, and damn it even his pale blue eyes and nervous hands. Glancing over his shoulder he watched Bucky wander away shoulders hunched.

“Fuck it,” he muttered to himself. Summoning all his courage he turned and marched after the man. “Bucky!” Steve called making him wheel around in surprise.

“Steve?” Bucky asked with wide confused eyes.

“I, I like you,” he blurted out.

“You, I, what?” Bucky asked voice high and confused.

“I like you, a lot, I, I have for a while I just thought maybe,” he trailed off beginning to lose his nerve while Bucky just looked supremely confused. A small silence fell and with a hopeless little sigh Steve asked, “can I kiss you?”

“Yes,” Bucky answered immediately.

“Wait really?” Steve frowned now the confused one.

“Yes really,” Bucky grinned. Grabbing Steve’s cardigan he tugged the slightly taller man down to press their lips together. It was a simple kiss, a press of lips and little happy hum before they pulled away. Steve stood in shock, staring down at Bucky who smiled shyly up at him. “You know you’re pretty cute when you’re speechless,” Bucky murmured.

“I, I, wow, I didn’t think you actually, I mean, uh, fuck,” Steve stammered and stumbled over his words, cheeks beginning to heat up.

“I like you too,” Bucky said while Steve continued to splutter in awe, “in case you missed that. You sort of caught me by surprise at first, but I couldn’t miss the chance for a kiss,” he explained.

“I’m glad you didn’t,” Steve managed to smile though still in shock.

“You ok?” Bucky asked lifting an eyebrow.

“Yes, great actually,” he said smiling wider, “I, I think I’m still just processing. You honestly had me thinking I’d completely fucked it up, I mean it was a long shot to begin with.”

“Are you mad? You’re the beefcake here, and just about the greatest guy I’ve ever met.”

“I, I’m really not,” Steve blushed. “To me you’re basically the most… I want to say handsome but I don’t really know a word to do it justice. You’re beautiful, and smart, and you turn me into this stuttering idiotic failure of a romantic. I mean I was honestly doomed from the start,” he added with a nervous back rubbing a hand on the back of his neck.

“I think I was too,” Bucky flushed.

Steve’s smile softened and he reached out tentatively for Bucky’s hand, who laced their fingers. “So… would you like to go out some time?”

“I’d love to.”

“Neat-o,” Steve grinned despite himself.

“You’re a dork,” Bucky gave a snort of laughter and tugged him lightly down for another soft kiss.

“Y you really shouldn’t do that, my brain kind of short circuits every time you do,” Steve flushed darker.

“Good to know.”

Steve huffed still smiling, “when can I see you?”

“I’m busy until next week, you?”

“I’m busy too, oh, but my friend’s band is playing next Thursday if you are free?”

“I think I am, if not I can ask for time off.”

“Ok, we could do that I guess unless you’d rather do something else.”

“I honestly couldn’t care less what we do so long as I get to see you,” Bucky said with a deep blush that made Steve’s heart skip a beat.

“And you call me a dork.”

“Watch the tone punk,” Bucky gave him a halfhearted punch in the arm.

“So Thursday?”

“Yes, but I think I’ll be needing your number.”

“Oh right um here, let’s trade.” Steve pulled out his phone opening up a new contact window and handing it over to Bucky while he took the other and put in his digits. Passing it back Steve made sure to save the contact before stowing his phone. “So um, I guess this is goodbye, for real this time I mean.”

“Do I get a goodbye kiss at least?” Bucky asked.

“If you insist,” Steve grinned closing the distance for long last long kiss. He pulled away through sheer force of while with a little unhappy groan at the loss of contact. “You’re amazing,” he whispered.

“Right back at you,” Bucky murmured. “I’ll see you later Steve, don’t hesitate to call or text,” he said kissing Steve’s cheek before turning on his heel and marching away.

Steve definitely _did_ check out Bucky’s ass as he left, his face still a mix of awe and quite possibly love. Yep, he was doomed, and he couldn’t be happier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well they finally said it! i know it may have come out a bit cheesy but i felt like one of them would just have to suck it up and blurt it out. be warned there is fluff ahead, these two nerds deserve a fluffy au in my opinion. i hope you guys enjoyed it. please let me know what you think and if you see any mistakes. updates will come faster now that i'm basically done writing so we'll be finishing up in a week or two. 
> 
> fun fact: the title comes from the quote "every case of love boils down to reckless honesty." because as you may be realizing i am a hopeless romantic.
> 
> love, Zara


	8. I Wanna Hold Your Hand

Steve found himself smiling to himself over the next week whenever Bucky passed through his mind. The memory of the kiss left his heart racing, and his brain occupied with fantasies with what could possibly come next.

“Damn,” Sam cursed across the table from him.

“Huh?” Steve asked blinking bringing the real world back in focus.

“You’ve got it bad.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said attempting to come off unperturbed and not at all embarrassed, suffice to say he failed as usual.

“Your ten minutes of gooey eyes and wistful sighing says otherwise.”

“They were not wistful sigh, I did not sigh,” he yelped feeling his cheeks and ears turn red.

“I’m afraid Sam’s right,” Peggy smiled. “You were sort of off in another world, one occupied by a certain vlogger no doubt,” she added with a smirk.

“I hate both of you, you are monsters,” he groaned hiding his head in his arms.

“Oh don’t be like that, its sweet really,” Peggy assured him giving his shoulder a pat.

“Its fine Steve, we just like teasing you.”

“Bullies,” he grumbled.

“Nope just your best friends,” Peggy corrected.

“Then I really am screwed.”

“Oh hush up and actually try to contribute instead of zoning out,” she ordered.

“Sorry, so what were you saying?” he asked.

It seemed an age but finally Thursday came, and despite his early class Steve was awake and full of excitement. To him the day crawled by and his concentration suffered, having to read some passages a few times and he paused often as he worked on his projects. He had agreed to meet Bucky at seven outside the diner. At six he gave up on his painting and returned to his room to shower and pick out an outfit, Sam teasing and rolling his eyes as he fretted over which shirt to wear.

“I’ll see you inside,” Sam said as they approached the diner.

“Uh yea, bye,” he nodded awkwardly.

“It’ll be fine,” Sam assured him patting his shoulder before disappearing leaving Steve to wait. He chewed his lip looking up and down the street nervously, hands stuffed in his pockets to keep him from fidgeting.

Despite his constant glancing around Bucky managed to surprise him, appearing at his shoulder with a soft, “hey.”

“Hey!” Steve said a little louder than was necessary.

“Miss me?” Bucky grinned.

“Is it lame if I say yes?” he asked with a faint blush.

“No,” Bucky’s smile softened, “I missed you.”

“Oh good,” Steve sighed with relief, at least he wasn’t the only one.

They stood in silence watching each other with soft smile before Bucky spoke up, “not that I don’t like this but are we going inside?”

“Oh yes sorry,” he smiled opening the door for him. “Follow me,” he murmured leading him through the bustling tables and bodies and up to the front of the little stage. His friends had managed to snag two of the closest booths. “Hello,” he waved coming up to the edge of one of the tables.

“Hey,” Peggy smiled brightly eyes skipping over Steve and going straight to Bucky. “So this is him huh?”

“Uh yes everyone this is Bucky,” he gestured to the young man. “And Bucky these are my friends: Peggy, Sam, and Darcy.”

“Hello,” Bucky nodded to them.

“Well sit down,” Peggy ordered.

“Hold on I need the bathroom,” Sam said sliding out of his side shooting a grin at Peggy before disappearing.

Glancing between them Bucky shrugged and slid in to the far side followed by Steve. Once they were settled Peggy sat forward, hands clasped on the table, trying to control a wicked grin. “So Bucky huh?”

“That’s my name,” he nodded.

“We’ve heard a lot about you.”

“Oh really? Like what?” he asked glancing to Steve who was slowly blushing deeper and deeper.

“Don’t worry its all good, but it’s enough detail I feel like I know you already.”

“Well its good to finally meet you, Steve’s talked about you.”

“Well I’m glad I at least got a mention.”

“So does anyone want any food?” Steve interrupted grabbing a menu and looking it over, shooting Peggy a frown. He had a sinking feeling he was going to spend the night blushing at the mercy of his friends.

“We’ve already ordered but I’ll wave down a waitress,” Darcy said throwing up her hand and snapping her fingers attracting the attention of one of the workers. The young man appeared at their table, another scholarship art student by the name of Peter trying to make ends meet.

“What can I get you?”

“I’ll have a chocolate shake and a large order of waffle fries, please,” Steve said.

“And can I have an… ultimate burger and a strawberry shake.”

Writing it down the boy nodded “be right back.”

“So Bucky,” Peggy said once he had left, “You’re a bartender.”

“Yes, and you are an art student,” he replied calmly.

“Obviously, so is that all you do?”

“I run my little vlog but yea, that’s about it.”

“Any plans for the future.”

“Not really. No offense, but I feel like I’m in a job interview, would you like a list of my references too and special skills?” he asked with a small grin and lifted eyebrow.

“Oh it is just that. So special skills?” she asked.

“I can sew, do a few coin tricks, good memory, and make a pretty good casserole,” he listed off with a wry little smile. “So what job am I interviewing for?”

“Steve’s boyfriend.”

“ _Peggy_ ,” Steve hissed turning a dark red, the color reaching his chest and tips of his ears.

“I didn’t know going on a date required that, I guess times have changed since I last dated,” Bucky smiled but Steve could see his nervousness and the blush on his cheeks.

“And when was that?”

“High school.”

“And how long ago was that?”

“I’m twenty-three so about five years.”

“So you’re older.”

“Yes.”

“Peg,” Steve half whimpered.

“Oh hush up Steve,” she said waving him off. “And why haven’t you dated? Are you un-dateable?”

Bucky blushed glancing at Steve, “I hope not.”

“But you were busy being a soldier.”

“Yea.”

“Ok, ok and what are your intentions for Steve?”

“Oh my god,” Steve groaned burying his face in his hands, “this can’t be happening.”

“My intentions?” Bucky asked a little confused and very nervous.

“Yes. Steve is my best friend and I need to make sure you are worthy of him, that you won’t break his heart.”

“I don’t want to hurt him. As for worthiness,” Bucky shrugged uncomfortable, “I guess I would hope I am.”

“So what exactly are your intentions?”

“Well,” Bucky looked over at Steve, watching him as he answered. “I’d like to be with him for as long as he’ll have me.”

Steve felt some of his embarrassment ebb and murmured softly back, “me too.”

They shared a warm smile only to be pulled from their silent, happy little world by a little clap. Looking up Steve found Peggy smiling brightly, clasping her hands, and eyes dancing with humor.

“Well?” he asked.

“He passes,” she nodded winking at Bucky, “for now.”

“What a relief,” Bucky gave a little nervous laugh.

“God you’re right,” Darcy chuckled, “they are adorable.”

“I knew they would be,” Peggy nodded with a self-satisfied smile.

-

Bucky would freely admit to being nervous. He was never the most sociable person but the mini interrogation made his hand sweat and he nervously clenched and unclenched his metal arm. Thankfully it seemed Peggy approved. That gave him some relief but his heart still raced, only partly caused from Steve sitting beside him.

A girl in the booth closest to the stage turned around in her seat leaning in between Darcy and Peggy. “What’s so funny?” she asked.

“Steve’s boy toy,” Darcy chuckled making both young men blush and Steve stammer out some incoherent denial.

“Oh so this is the infamous guy huh?” the newcomer smiled kindly. “Its good to meet you, I’m Jane.”

“Bucky,” he gave an awkward little wave.

“Don’t let Peggy intimidate you, she’s sweet I promise. She is just a little protective of Steve, we all are.”

“I’m not some wilting flower who needs protection,” Steve grumbled making Bucky smile a little. The young man was large and tough but he was also sweet, and that made him worth protecting.

“Its alright I understand, you’re just being good friends.”

“Exactly, so are you done giving the third degree?” Jane asked looking over at Peggy.

“For now.”

“Good then leave the poor boys alone, god knows they’re about as red as cherries,” she chuckled making the pair blush darker.

“Ok, ok I give,” Peggy, laughed putting up her hands in defeat.

“Thanks Jane,” Steve mumbled.

Summoning some courage Bucky spoke up, “so if Steve is a painter what kind of artists are you?”

“I’m into sculpture, architecture, basically all the 3D arts,” Peggy answered.

“And I’m in the music department,” Darcy added.

“Are you performing tonight?” he asked.

“No I do mixing, more of a DJ type.”

“And I’m not an art student at all,” Jane answered reaching out and snagging Darcy’s soda to take a sip.

“Oh then who did you hear about this? This looks sort of like a school thing,” Bucky said glancing around the diner to see most of the occupants looked like the general artsy type, not to judge of course.

“I’ve been friends with Darcy since high school.”

“I even introduced her to her _own_ boy-toy,” Darcy grinned proudly.

“For which I forever grateful. Thor is the drummer with Pepper’s band playing tonight, and I’ve dragged along a few of my Hudson friends,” she explained thumbing over her shoulder at the people in her booth.

Sam reappeared just then sliding in beside Steve and forcing him closer to Bucky. It may have been the simple press of the boy’s thigh and the brush of his elbow but he definitely did mind the contact. “Oh and fair warning Bucky, those Hudson kids are wild ones, so be prepared,” he grinned making Jane roll her eyes.

“That’s Tony, you can’t lump us all in with him,” she corrected.

“He’s wild enough for the bunch of you.”

“Tony is Pepper’s boyfriend,” Steve explained quietly to Bucky, leaning in so his breathe ghosted over his ear. “He’s a genius and wildly in love with her, he’ll be the one screaming and cheering the loudest.”

“Also another couple all due to me,” Darcy added in.

“I deserve some credit,” Jane added. “He wouldn’t know who she was, or any of you, unless I’d come to bother you at school.”

“Fine you get… 12% of the credit, but _I’m_ the mastermind.”

“Are you a matchmaker and part time DJ?” Bucky asked.

Darcy smiled and stated, “I like him.”

“Me too,” Steve grinned over at him, and yep his heart skipped a beat or maybe ten.

The food arrived then, the other three getting their burgers and Steve, his order of fries and their milkshakes. The waiter assuring Bucky, “your burger will be out in another minute.”

“What are those?” Bucky asked lifting a questioning eyebrow at the plate Steve pushed into the center of the table.

“Waffle fries, wait have you never had them?”

“No.”

“Then try them, they taste the same,” he smiled pushing the plate closer to Bucky.

“I think they’re better,” Sam said. “Don’t know what it is, but they’re better.”

Bucky took one of the little waffle shaped fries, dipped the edge in ketchup and took a tentative bite. “Well?” Steve asked excitedly, as if Bucky’s opinion of the food meant the utmost to him.

“Its good,” he nodded to watch as Steve’s face relaxed and his smile brightened. Bucky felt his heart race; he thought that if Steve asked him to eat dirt he’d probably say it tasted wonderful just to see that smile again. He was unfamiliar with the amount of genuine attention and interest Steve gave him, it made him a little nervous, but mostly it made his heart race and ache.

The six of them dug into their meals, stealing fries off the plate every now and again. At some point Jane turned around to rejoin the conversation with her friends over there. They had a small debate on the best flavors of milkshakes: Darcy and Steve were for chocolate, Peggy was for vanilla, and Sam was for Oreo where he could get it. Bucky liked strawberry but he stayed out of the debate, smiling as he watched the friends steadfastly defend their choices.

Finally though the show began. The diner owner took the stage to thank everyone for attending and then to introduce the first act. The diner erupted into cheers, the loudest of which came from their tables, a young man in the first booth jumping up whooping and yelling the loudest.

“That’s Tony,” Steve said leaning over to him, “I told you he’d be loud.”

“I can see that,” Bucky said leaning into his face as well to be heard over the crowd.

They paused for a moment, faces inches apart lost in their own little world until the girl at the microphone began to speak. Blushing Steve looked away, turning his attention to the stage. Bucky did the same but glancing over to the boy every so often. The music began and they were good, a nice alternative rock sound and the girl, Pepper, Steve explained, had a nice voice. Despite that Bucky found himself more interested in watching Steve and only listening to the music.

Steve watched the stage with a proud smile. To him it seemed that Steve was the kind to root for anyone, glad to share in his friend’s accomplishments. Steve glanced over catching Bucky staring and he blushed cursing himself internally for being such a creeper. _‘Who just sat and watched someone?’_ It was strange but Bucky couldn’t help himself. That sweet face did awful and wonderful things to his heart.

Steve’s expression softened and blushing reached out slowly to take his hand. Bucky twined their fingers giving it a squeeze beneath the table. Steve shot him a ridiculously wide smile, cheeks still flushed before ducking his head and looking back to the stage.

Though Bucky’s metal arm could not feel as well as his real one he could still notice the heat from Steve’s hand and the gentle pressure of the grip. Their hands remained entwined for the rest of the night, only pulling apart to clap after and before sets of the other bands that performed, and then slip back together. Bucky had held hands before, but the feel of Steve beside him and his hand in his, it was different. He idly noted that he might finally understand The Beatles song, “I Wanna Hold Your Hand” cheesy as it may be.

Sadly though the Band Night drew to a close. There was one last big round of applause for all the participants before everyone slowly took their leave. Bucky followed Steve and his friends out, grinning as Steve blushed and quietly thanked them when all his friends made excuses to leave the pair of them alone.

After all the commotion inside it was finally just the pair of them standing quietly together on the sidewalk.

“So what next?” Bucky asked.

“Um I dunno what would you like to do?”

“No idea,” he shrugged with a smile.

“Well um… how about a coffee? Or something?” Steve shrugged biting his lip nervously.

“Ok but first,” Bucky moved into Steve’s space. Cupping his face he brought him down for a kiss, feeling Steve melt against him, his arms wrapping around Bucky as he deepened it. After a minute’s lip lock they pulled apart, both with happy smiles and glazed eyes.

“Neat,” Steve mumbled to himself.

“You are too adorable,” Bucky snorted giving him a peck. “Come on, its getting old.” Taking his hand they started down the sweet murmuring quietly to each other, lost in their own little world of pathetic love.

They walked to the nearest late night café and spent another few hours talking and laughing together. Sadly at midnight though, Sam called Steve asking if he was coming home at all making Steve blush and stammer much to Bucky’s delight. “Its ok,” Bucky said standing and motioning Steve after him, “I’ll walk you home.”

“I’ll be back soon,” Steve mumbled into the phone before hanging up and hurrying to follow Bucky.

After a minute’s silence as they walked Steve spoke up, “so was that ok?”

“What was?”

“The date? It wasn’t bad was it? I’m sort of new to the whole dating thing.”

“It’s was great,” Bucky chuckled, “and to be honest I’m new to the whole ‘gay’ thing.”

“You’ve never been with a guy before?”

“You were my first kiss, from a guy at least.”

“Oh well, was it good? Live up to the girls?”

“No,” he smiled making Steve’s eyes go wide with fear, “it was much better.”

“Oh, _oh_ , um good,” he flushed immediately relaxing.

“Calm down Steve, I like you and I doubt anything will change that.”

“Same here.”

“So how about we just hold hands and relax?”

“That sounds great,” he nodded giving Bucky’s hand a squeeze.

Bucky walked him to the door of his dorm turning to face Steve fully. His heart had been skipping and racing all night and it did it once more. Steve smiled shyly down at him, biting his lip and nervous, looking on the edge of saying something. Bucky waited patiently for the boy to find his words.

“I had a lot of fun tonight, when would you be free to… go out again or whatever?” he asked finally.

“I’m free Sunday night after six, a few mornings next week, and Thursday night. Do any of those work for you?”

“Sunday and Thursday, I have class in the mornings.”

“Ok well how does dinner sound around six thirty or seven?”

“Fine and where should I meet you?”

“Um I dunno I’ll look up some restaurants and let you know.”

“That sounds fine.”

“Ok well Sunday then,” Bucky nodded.

“And my goodnight kiss?” Steve grinned.

“Come here,” Bucky nearly growled tugging him down for a far rougher and passionate kiss. It took all his will to pull away, Steve following his lips for a moment before recovering himself. “I could _definitely_ get used to that,” Bucky smiled.

“Agreed,” Steve grinned licking his lips, the action doing _things_ to Bucky’s insides.

“Ok you need to go before I lose the last of my self control.”

“Would that be so bad?” Steve smirked, and shit, Bucky was in trouble.

“You… you punk,” he huffed unable to come up with anything else.

“Goodnight,” Steve leaned in for an innocent press of lips. Pulling away he back up a few steps still beaming before turning and heading inside.

“Fuck,” Bucky whispered to himself watching Steve go, “I am done for."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> their first date and hey no spilled coffee. i hope you guys didn't mind all of the cameo's i added in but i wanted to have a little fun. also apologies for the cheesy Beatles reference, but as i have said before i am a hopeless romantic. anyway should be able to post the next chapter in just a few days. let me know what you thought and if you spotted any mistakes.  
> love Zara


	9. Ties And Terror

Steve was sitting in class the next day with Peggy when his phone went off. Though it wasn’t strictly forbidden phone use was frowned upon. Despite himself he pulled it out to at least check the sender. It was Bucky so of course he opened it up

_**so i told natasha about our date and she’s decided to make it a double date. is that ok?**_   
_That sounds ok_   
_**i’m sorry if its weird but she sort of demanded to meet you**_   
_She did?_   
_**yea i talk about you so much she wants to see what all the fuss is about**_   
_You do huh?_   
_**yea its really quite pathetic actually**_   
_Then I guess we’re both pathetic idiots then ;)_   
_**maybe that’s why i like you so much**_   
_That’s verging on an insult you know_   
_**whatever it is you are definitely the cutest pathetic idiot i’ve ever met**_   
_You are way too cheesy_   
_**what can i say i’m a romantic**_   
_Its ok I like that. So is it the same time?_   
_**yes seven o’clock but she’s picked out a nice restaurant so we have to dress up sort of nice. so if you can try and find a nice shirt, slacks, and a tie**_   
_I think I can handle that_   
_**sorry but nat gets her way however annoying it is, i’ve basically given up protesting. she always wins.**_   
_Its ok, Peggy is sort of like that. I guess we like tough ladies._   
_**well trust me natasha is something else. but her boyfriend will be there so she won’t spend the entire evening interrogating you**_   
_Oh no should I get my resume ready?_   
_**haha maybe**_   
_Well I will do my best. I’m still just excited to see you_   
_**same here**_

Steve paused for a minute debating his response before answering with a light blush.

_I miss you_   
_**i miss you too, last night was fun**_   
_It was, I dreamt about that last kiss_   
_**i dreamt about you too**_   
_Shit the teachers coming I’ll text you later_   
_**ok get some work done, bye**_

Steve put his phone away as the teacher passed concentrating back on his typography project. By now Peggy had noticed and watched him out of the corner of her eye.

“Who was that?” she asking offhandedly her focus still on her typography work.

“Bucky.”

“What’d he say?”

“We’re going on a double date Sunday with his sister.”

“Oh that sounds nice, you excited?”

“A bit but mostly nervous, apparently she is pretty tough and intimidating. Oh also can you help me pick out a nice outfit? The restaurant is fancy.”

“Sure thing. And don’t worry, it’s basically impossible to not like you.”

“The bullies in high school seem to think different.”

“Yea well they were a bunch of assholes.”

“Agreed,” he frowned at the memory.

“But that’s over with so be happy, you have a hot date coming up.”

“Yes, shit I hope I don’t do anything stupid.”

“I think the whole coffee incident took care of all the stupid.”

“Yea but his sister will be there, I don’t want to look like a complete fool.”

“Well the pair of you are generally pretty foolish, it’s adorable. I’m sure she’ll see that too and give the proverbial thumbs up.”

“Maybe.”

“Not maybe I know, and I’m always right.”

“Generally yea,” he chuckled.

“Exactly so have a little faith in _me_ at least, it’ll be fine.”

Steve sighed with a soft smile, “Do you know how awesome you are?”

“Yes, thanks baby,” she smiled patting his cheek. “Now get back to work, my sculpture is taking up all my free time so I need to finish this up soon.”

“Yes ma’am.”

The next two days passed much too slowly for Steve’s liking. Part of him couldn’t wait to see Bucky again. Just the thought brought a smile to his lips and set his heart racing. On the other hand he was worried about meeting the infamous sister: Natasha. Of the little he knew she was a sharp-witted woman, and he hoped to god she liked him.

On Sunday morning though he was relieved some what when he watched Bucky’s newest video. This one was about dressing up, focusing mainly on men’s fashion and the changes of suit styles over the years. It ended however with a little mention that made Steve’s cheek’s flush.

“I hope you all enjoyed the video and learned a little. I’d actually like to thank my inspiration for today’s topic: my sister but mostly my date,” Bucky grinned into the camera. “I’ve mentioned him a few times but tonight I’ve got a date with Steve, or Boyfrombrooklyn. He’s a sweet kid and if you excuse me completely adorable. We’re going out for a nice dinner so I threw this video together because of it. I’ve added a link to his blog because I personally think he’s awesome, so go check him out. Anyway that’s all for now, be safe all my Winter’s Children. As always remember that I love you and I hope you love yourself. Oh and Steve, can’t wait to see you. Bucky out,” he said with a wink before the video ended.

Steve bit his lip and grinned stupidly at the screen. He was still nervous but damn, that wink and smile did things to his heart.

-

Bucky was nervous that much was clear from his constant tugging at his tie only stopping when Natasha sent him a look. “Sorry,” he mumbled instead reaching out for his glass of water. He was excited to see Steve, that was a given, but that didn’t stop his nerves from acting up. He idly wondered if he was allowed to take an extra Clonazapan on top of his extra for the day.

“Man these prices are something else,” Clint whistled as he flipped through the menu.

“Don’t worry I’ve got my card, parents are paying,” Natasha assured him.

“Sweet, we should definitely order some ridiculous stuff like caviar or whatever.”

“You don’t like fish, why would you want fish eggs?” she asked.

“Because its expensive,” he smirked.

“You’re an idiot.”

“But I’m your idiot,” he chuckled batting his lashes at her.

“Yes you are,” she smiled lightly back at him. Glancing over at Bucky she rolled her eyes, “he’ll be here soon Bucky, so chill out.”

“Sorry I just.”

“Yea I know you’ve got anxiety issues,” she waved his answer off. “That’s fine but seriously calm down, I’m not going to murder him, at least probably not.”

“Gee thanks,” Bucky sighed.

“Hey that him?” Clint asked nodding to the door.

Bucky whipped around in his seat and thank god, there was Steve. He stood just inside the door eyes darting around the restaurant looking lost and utterly adorable. Bucky raised a hand and waved him over.

Steve approached slipping into the seat beside Bucky with a nervous smile. “Hi,” he mumbled.

“Hi,” Bucky smiled, a little wave of relief washing over him.

“So you’re Steve?” Natasha asked immediately.

“Um yes hi, you must be Natasha.”

“It’s a pleasure,” she reached out shaking his hand. “This is my idiot boyfriend, Clint,” she added.

“Yo,” Clint gave a little wave.

“Hi,” Steve nodded. “Am I very late? The train ran late, as usual,” he added with an apologetic little smile.

“No we’ve only been here a few minutes.”

“Oh good,” he nodded. “So um what looks good?” he asked picking up the menu and burying his face in it. Bucky grinned seeing the faint blush that threatened at the young man’s pale cheeks.

“I’m thinking of getting the ravioli,” Natasha answered.

“I can’t decide but I want something big, archery practice wore me out,” Clint pouted down at the menu.

“Bucky?” Steve asked jolting him from his reverie.

“Uh probably steak can’t go wrong there.”

“Hmm true, wow this is nice food.”

“Don’t worry I’m paying,” Natasha reassured him. “Our parents are footing the bill so order whatever you want.”

“That’s nice of them. So do they know about me?”

“Well they know I’m on a double date with Bucky but no, not really.”

Bucky cleared his throat and awkwardly explained, “they don’t exactly know I’m gay or anything.”

“Oh, well that’s ok, unless that’s a problem,” he tried to smile only to fail.

“Its ok,” Bucky reached out squeezing his hand. “I really couldn’t care less what they think, I’m just staving off that conversation until the last minute. I’m not embarrassed or ashamed of you, I just really don’t want to hear their rants,” he explained.

“Bucky is slowly becoming the black sheep of the family,” Natasha spoke up. “I couldn’t care less who he dates, but our parents are conservative and will definitely pitch a fit, they’re idiots.”

“Yea but at least they don’t give you a curfew,” Clint added.

“I don’t have a curfew because I don’t get in trouble.”

“You don’t get caught.”

“You wouldn’t either if you were with me.”

“I can’t help it, sometimes I just have to go and do it without really thinking.”

“I love you Clint, but you really don’t think _anything_ through.”

“That’s why I love you,” he cooed. “You save my ass, I’m a lucky guy.”

“Damn right you are,” Natasha smirked sharing a look with him. 

Bucky had to admit the pair was perfectly matched. Natasha was much like him at that age, perfectly behaved and living up to their family’s expectations and even surpassing them. However, Clint made her far more human. He could make her smile easier than anyone else, himself included. Clint may be a bit of a mischievous little shit but there was no doubting his love for Natasha, or hers for him. It was actually quite sappy and stupid. Natasha always rolled her eyes when Bucky mentioned this but he could see her secret little loving smile.

The quartet made small talk until a waiter appeared and took their order. As if on cue Natasha sat forward staring Steve down across the table making him fidget nervously. “Is this the interrogation?” he asked after a minute’s silence.

“You like my brother,” it wasn’t a question.

“Um yea.”

“A lot.”

“Yes.”

“You’re younger, more naïve.”

“I guess so.”

“And he’s new at this, he’s been through hell.”

“I know.”

Natasha narrowed her eyes and spoke in a deadly voice, “you break his heart and I will break your fingers, and anything else I feel like. He’s a fucking cuddly saint of a weirdo, you hurt him and I will get revenge.”

“O oh ok,” Steve said sitting back as far as he could. Bucky felt sorry and reached out to take Steve’s hand. He’d been on the receiving end of Natasha’s glares and threats before and they were indeed terrifying. Clint sat back, knowing well enough to keep out of it lest he attract her deadly gaze.

“Are you done intimidating my boyfriend?” Bucky asked trying to relieve the tension.

“So its official then? Boyfriends?” she asked looking between them.

“Uh,” Bucky looked over at Steve who smiled a little hopefully despite his obvious nervousness. “I mean, if you’d like to be? Or we could be something else? The whole no label thing if you want,” he offered up secretly hoping.

“No I mean,” Steve squeezed his hand, “yea, I’d like that.”

“So you’re my boyfriend?” he asked just to confirm.

“And you’re mine.”

“Neat,” he grinned getting a blush from Steve.

“Jerk,” he grumbled looking away.

“Wow you guys are like sickeningly adorable, I think I feel a cavity coming on its so sweet,” Clint spoke up with a little laugh.

“And there you go again ruining the moment,” Natasha said rolling her eyes but smiling.

“I tell it like I see it.”

“They are disgusting,” she wrinkled her nose, “so happy and _so_ stupid.”

“We’re not that gross are we?” Clint asked her.

“No I class it up a bit,” Natasha answered.

“You do indeed,” Clint leaned over pecking her cheek with the look of a lovesick puppy.

“I uh saw your video,” Steve spoke up quietly.

“Did you like it?”

“You clean up nice,” he said giving Bucky an appreciative once over.

“Natasha is going to cut my hair next week.”

“I can’t wait to see you, you’ll look good.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Yes I do,” Steve stated and Bucky grinned.

“I’ll send you a picture as soon as I do.”

“Good, oh and um thanks for the mention,” he added with a blush.

“Well I had to say something. Its kind or hard not to go on and on about you.”

“He really can’t,” Natasha added. “Its almost annoying, if it wasn’t so cute that is. I know everything about you now.”

“Partly because she hacks my accounts and reads our messages,” Bucky added with a little growl of disapproval.

His sister shrugged flipping her bright red locks from her face. There was nothing that could faze her, except perhaps Clint when he was being romantic. As it turned out the Barnes children were rather quite hopeless romantics under their tough exteriors.

“She’s read the messages?”

“Yes so I suggest you keep your sexting confined to your phones or I’ll know about it,” she smirked making both young men blush.

“W we do not, we don’t do that,” Bucky tried to explain.

“Yet.”

“I’m sorry,” Bucky grumbled to Steve, “Nat is sort of a little shit, I love her, but she’s awful.”

“Its ok,” Steve said still blushing bright red. “I mean, Peggy is sort of like that, always wiggling her eyebrows and making insinuations.”

“Well Nat doesn’t insinuate, she just states.”

“I’m sort of getting that,” Steve laughed lightly, the nervousness slowly easy from his voice with each moment. After a pause biting his lip he said to Bucky quietly, “I missed you.”

“I missed you too,” Bucky held tight to his hand, wondering if it was possible to eat one handed.

“Ugh gross. So Steve you’re in art school?” Clint asked breaking up the moment.

“Wow Clint, have some tact please,” Natasha noted but the boy didn’t seem to hear just watching Steve and waiting for a response.

“Yes I’m a painter. And you are both in high school still right?”

“Senior year though, nearly done,” he gave a little cheer.

“Where are you going to college?”

“Nat is going to NYU and I’m going to Columbia, only barely got in though but my coach made a few calls.”

“Those are both good schools.”

“Well Nat’s a genius, I almost failed a few classes along the way if not for her.”

“You’re not stupid you just don’t do your homework,” she shot back.

“I guess that’s the trade off with us. Nat makes me do my work and sort of behave, and I make her live a little and cut the serious crap.”

“Serious crap?” she lifted an eyebrow, a little danger in the words.

Clint wasn’t bothered, “you know what I mean. You’re too well behaved, always doing what your told and all that crap. I make you get your head out of the books and skip all those practices you have. I swear she spends half her life in one practice or another: karate, violin, even ballet for a while. I could barely get a minute to myself.”

“I like to keep busy.”

“Well I like it when you are busy with me.”

“And my parents don’t like it when I am.”

“Yea well your parents are kinda lame, way too strict,” he made a face.

“Can’t fight you there,” Bucky agreed. His parents technically approved of the teens relationship but he knew they thought she could do better. They wanted Natasha to marry a doctor or something, someone professional. Bucky knew however, that only Clint was worthy of his sister. He may be a delinquent idiot but he loved her more than anyone could, and he really was good for her, despite all the little trouble he caused.

The dinner proceeded well. Bucky was grateful for Clint’s presence. The boy may be a bit foolish but he was good at distracting Natasha every time she decided to stare Steve down and ask a few questions. Steve’s warm hand in his also seemed to ground him, relax him. Whatever happened at least he had the large warm and comforting hand holding his. For the first time he wasn’t completely alone: he had that hand, that boy, he had Steve.

-

Steve relaxed as the dinner continued. There was no great disaster of spilled drinks and he didn’t make a complete fool of himself, though he did blush and stutter some. It wasn’t his fault, Bucky made his heart race and his sister made him nervous. She was king enough but he could feel the danger she held in her slim frame. Natasha was clearly not one to be trifled with.

He was relieved when the meal ended and they made their way out onto the street. “Clint has a curfew so we have to head back. I borrowed the car so I can drop you home first,” she said to Bucky.

“That’d be great.”

“Is he coming?” she asked looking at Steve.

“Uh,” Steve shrugged unsure of what to say.

Bucky bit his lip, hair falling into his face as he spoke up, “I have Cosmos on the DVR, we could maybe watch it unless you need to get back.”

“What time is it?”

“Only eight thirty.”

“I guess it couldn’t hurt,” he said with a little hope and glee. He was going to Bucky’s apartment. He was finally going to see the man’s life in full. He’d heard his words, met his sister, and now his home. He wondered if he’d get another taste of his lips as well. The opportunities made his heart race.

The couples made their way the few blocks to the car, both hand in hand. Steve sat nervously in his seat as Natasha drove them to Bucky’s apartment, twiddling his fingers and glancing between Bucky and the dark city outside the window. All too quickly they pulled up to a curb. Steve got out without looking up mumbling a thank you as he waited for Bucky to round the car. He paused at Natasha’s window. “You have fun, hear me?” she asked leaning out.

“If you insist.”

“Good and don’t forget to call me,” she added pointing at him.

“Is that all?”

“Hmm, be nice don’t do anything too stupid.”

“I think I can manage that.”

“Good, love you _Pooh Bear_ ,” she cooed pulling away before Bucky could get out an angry and embarrassed retort.

“Pooh Bear?” Steve chuckled.

“It’s a stupid nickname she only uses to annoy me.”

“Its cute,” he said the words half lost in his laughter.

“Shut up punk,” he growled giving him a light shove. “Follow me,” he said walking up the street a few doors down, holding the door for Steve to slip past him. “Sorry there’s no elevator, its up on the third floor.”

“That’s fine.”

“Oh and fair warning,” Bucky added as they started up the stairs, “its kind of messy and well, its nothing special. I really am just a half broke bartender.”

“I really don’t care Bucky,” Steve assured him. “I don’t come from a rich family, and you don’t need to impress me, I already like you.”

“Thanks, but you’ve been warned.”

“I’ll remember that.”

Steve had to smile at the nervous way Bucky pulled out his keys shooting him one last apologetic look before opening the door, giving it a little shove. To Steve it looked like any apartment. Sure it wasn’t the Ritz but he’d lived in worse places when his mom had been out of work. He turned to find Bucky watching him as if waiting for some sort of answer.

“Its fine, really,” he smiled reaching to touch his arm.

“Ok,” he nodded as if reassuring himself. “So Cosmos right?”

“Sure.”

“Do you want anything? I’ve got some food or maybe something to drink?”

“What kinds of drinks?”

“Uh I’ve got… water, some milk, a beer or two, instant cocoa, tea, and instant coffee. The coffee maker finally died completely so all we have is the kettle to heat stuff up. Any of those sound good?”

“I could do for some cocoa if you have some too.”

“Yea, um make yourself at home.”

Looking around Steve sat down on the ratty second hand and abused couch. He sank low in the surprisingly plush cushions and summoning some courage he kicked off his shoes, pulling his legs up to sit lotus style. He’d found that position helped him relax, and his heart was racing enough as it was. “So you have a roommate?” he said by way of conversation while Bucky heated the water and tracked down the cocoa packets.

“Yea Dum Dum, we served together,” he explained with a little cheer as he finally pulled down the box of cocoa.

“Dum Dum?” Steve raised an eyebrow. _‘That couldn’t be a real name, could it?’_

“His real name is Timothy of all things. Dum Dum is just his nickname but even his parents call him that, little weird but it works,” Bucky explained with a shrug. Steve found himself watching the man’s shoulder’s strain under the fitted button up as he turned away finding mugs. “He’s nice, he’s at work tonight though won’t be back until late.”

“So just us huh?”

Bucky looked around and smiled, “yea, just us.”

Steve blushed and looked down at his hands. He’d barely been on a single date before and now he was already on a second (official at least) and he was already in Bucky’s apartment. For the first time they were completely alone. Just the idea made his heart race. He debated texting Sam or Peggy for advice but decided all he would get was texts egging him on and generally childish teasing.

Only another minute and Bucky was passing him a hot mug of cocoa and settling in beside him. He took a minute fighting with his remote and DVR before with a grin got the program to play.

“Sorry if this is a little nerdy,” Bucky mumbled, “but I sort of love it.”

“No Neil Degrasse Tyson is cool.”

“He makes science much more relatable.”

“Totally, you might guess but I wasn’t too good at science and math. I mean I’m ok, but I’m an artist plain and simple.”

“No I get it, I definitely had a few struggles. I’m just glad its over, I never want to sit through another math class,” Bucky shivered dramatically and Steve couldn’t help but laugh. Bucky watched him with a soft smile and an expression that Steve couldn’t quite place.

“What?” he asked.

“Nothing just,” he shook his head, “you.”

“Me what?”

“You, just you.”

“I’m still confused,” he frowned.

Bucky sighed with and with a little huff of laughter, “I was just thinking how amazing you are.”

“You really are a cheesy romantic,” Steve flushed.

“I tried to warn you.”

“I know but wow.”

“Sorry if it makes you uncomfortable.”

“N no its ok.”

“Good, I’ll uh keep the creepy staring to a minimum,” Bucky said shooting him one last smile before concentrating very pointedly on the TV.

Steve did the same but as ever found him distracted by Bucky. He had enough trouble concentrating just by the thoughts of the man, but to have him a hands length away? That was a whole other story. Sipping at his cocoa he nibbled at his lips only half watching the program while debating if he should make a move. _‘Would it be too forward? Or would Bucky want to make the first move? Shit he was terrible at this’_. His flirting skills were poor but it seemed his dating skills were even worse.

With a mental _‘fuck it’_ Steve reached out rather suddenly and took Bucky’s hand. Bucky jumped but relaxed with a little laugh slouching a closer to him on the couch. Taking a moment to have a little internal victory dance Steve put his drink down along with his legs in order to maneuver and shift closer. He tried his best to act casual about it like, he just happened to end up closer and closer to Bucky. _‘This was how people flirted right? Shit’._

Glancing over Steve found Bucky watching him with a soft smile, hooded eyes, and hair falling into his eyes like something out of a dream. “Um hi,” Steve blushed.

“Hi,” Bucky smiled lightheartedly, “need something?”

“Um yea,” taking a breath Steve said, “I need you to kiss me.”

“Finally,” Bucky rolled his eyes before surging forward to close the distance.

While Bucky may have been new to the ‘gay thing’ he was definitely not stranger to making out, much to Steve’s naïve delight. He deftly licked his way into Steve’s mouth deepening the kiss and slowly pushing Steve back until he felt his head hit the cushions with surprise. Hearing the little gasp he could feel Bucky grin as he moved down his neck licking and sucking as he went making Steve whimper and groan.

Bucky had one hand cupped around his head while the other slid down his chest to the hem of his shirt tracing the skin exposed there. Pulling back Bucky breathed out, “can I?” he asked voice a few octaves lower and just a little desperate.

“God yes,” Steve blurted out.

Bucky pulled away, sitting back on Steve’s lap, un-tucking his shirt and making quick work of the buttons. “Fucking buttons,” he grumbled finally throwing the shirt open. Steve waited flushing as Bucky’s eyes just roamed over him.

“Well?” he asked awkwardly

“Jesus Christ,” Bucky all out groaned leaning back over Steve for the hungriest of kisses yet. “You are,” he began to say pausing to kiss down his neck, “are so,” another nip, “fucking perfect,” he growled licking over Steve’s nipple.

“Fuck,” Steve yelped in surprise. He could feel Bucky’s grin as he continued to memorize Steve’s abdomen with his lips, tongue, teeth, and greedy hands that helped push off the rest of his shirt. After another breathy little moan Steve reached out dragging Bucky back to him for a searing kiss.

“You’re wonderful,” Bucky mumbled against his lips.

“Ditto,” he grinned into the next kiss.

“Fucking adorable,” Bucky snorted pausing in order to shake his head.

Still smiling Steve reached out to hold the front of Bucky’s shirt tugging questioning. “Can I?” he asked.

Bucky drew back but stayed above him, hair falling into his eyes and obscuring his expression. Feeling him still above him Steve reached out brushing some of the locks behind Bucky’s ear. He found the young man frozen, fear seeping into his eyes that already had pupils blown wide with lust.

“Bucky?” he asked uncertainly.

“I, I uh,” he stammered.

“Are you ok?” Steve reached out to take his face but Bucky jerked back sitting back on his knees. “Bucky?” he asked again sitting up as well now legitimately worried. “Did I do something wrong? Is there anything I can do?”

-

“No,” Bucky managed to spit out his breath beginning to speed up approaching panic attack levels. He gulped trying to force it down but the fear did not ebb. He squeezed his eyes shut raking a hand through his hair tugging harder than was necessary. Eyes still closed he felt Steve’s hand on his arm, light but there, a small comfort.

“What’s wrong?” Steve asked.

Bucky slowly opened his eyes to find Steve just inches away expression filled with concern and just a bit of fear. Bucky gulped again. He hadn’t meant to panic and freak the poor confused boy out. Until then the night had gone so well, amazing in fact, but his anxiety and fears had kicked in.

“Bucky, whatever it is,” Steve murmured reaching out tentatively to take his hand “you can tell me, please.”

Bucky screwed his eyes shut taking a few minutes to bring his breathing back down to at least manageable levels. With eyes still closed he spoke in a forced neutral tone that still betrayed his emotions. “I, I haven’t been uh intimate since I joined up and especially not since um,” he sucked in a shuddering breath, “since my accident.” Steve was still sitting patiently and worried when he opened his eyes again. “Its just um, no one besides my doctors has ever _seen_ my arm.”

“What do you mean?”

“Its really awful, the scars and um pretty ugly," he answered brokenly.

“Oh you mean,” Steve’s eyes dropped to his shoulder where the limb met his torso.

“Yea,” Bucky answered simply a little defeated. “I’m just uh, I’ve gotten used to the rest of it but the joint, its, I try not to look at it.”

“So when I asked?”

“I freaked, obviously,” he tried to give a laugh but it came out heavy and mirthless instead. “Shit I’m sorry Steve,” he crawled backwards off the boy to sit against the opposite armrest. “I’m doing better but the truth is I’m still a fucking mess from the war. I, I’m sorry I bothered you,” he murmured burying his face in his hands.

“You’re right,” Steve murmured, “you are a mess, but I don’t care.”

“How can you not care? I can’t even take off my fucking _shirt_ without having a panic attack.”

“So its not ideal,” the young artist moved forward until he was kneeling as close as he could to the veteran. “I don’t mind waiting, I’m not going anywhere.”

“Seriously?” Bucky asked in real confusion. He could fake his way through life fairly well but there were days like this, when he was consumed by his mental illness. Steve may be a kind, but to stay with him and put up with all his anxiety and body horror issues? That was verging on saint status.

“Seriously,” Steve smiled as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “I like you Bucky, _a lot_ , and I don’t care what we do together so long as we _are_ together. Do you understand?”

“I think so,” Bucky answered slowly, still in confused awe.

“Good. Now do you want to cuddle and maybe watch the show?”

“Yea,” he gave a little laugh this one actually filled with humor. “Yea I would like that a lot.”

“Come here,” Steve gently reached out and dragged him into his arms.

After a bit of shifting around they ended up lying down, Bucky’s head pillowed on Steve’s chest, both their feet dangling off the other end. Bucky hummed his appreciation as Steve lazily carded his fingers through his hair and scratched gently at his scalp. The feel of Steve’s arms around him and the solid beat of his heart beneath Bucky’s ear put him at ease. For the first time since leaving for boot camp, hell maybe his whole life, he felt completely at ease. He may still have a few problems left to sort out, ok more than a few, but that didn’t matter now. All that mattered at that moment was the security in Steve’s arm and the love that flooded his heart with warmth. Bucky had never been in love before but he had a feeling, that this, right here, was what it felt like. He may have been doomed from the start, but he couldn’t complain, Steve was worth it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. i figured with all Bucky's PTSD and assorted issues he would have some serious body image issues associated with the arm and i hope i portrayed it ok. let me know what you think about it. also yes i am a clintasha shipper, i think the dynamic works. also i think next chapter may be the last. so it might be a few days before the next update as i figure out the ending etc.  
> anyway as always let me know what you think, if you see any errors, and hey thanks for reading.
> 
> love Zara


	10. The Beginning And The End Of Everything

The pair remained cuddled upon the couch, putting on a random TV crime drama when Cosmos ended. Before long both were half sleep, only awakened when Steve’s phone went off.

“Shit,” he groaned rubbing his eyes and blinking the soft-lit world back into focus.

“What is it?” Bucky frowned brain addled by sleep.

“‘M phone, where’s my phone?” Steve yawned sitting up slightly jostling Bucky.

Bucky traced the sound to the phone that had fallen between the cushions and passed it up to him, flopping back onto Steve’s chest once he’d done so.

“Hello?” Steve asked his voice a little scratchy from sleep.

“Hey doll, how’s the date going?” Peggy asked.

“Great, we took a nap.”

“A nap?” Peggy yelped making him wince.

“Yea we watched Cosmos and then uh,” he squinted at the TV, “The Closer, sort of passed out at some point.”

“Damn it Steve.”

“What’d I do?”

“No offense but you are too innocent for your own good sometimes.”

“And you are vulgar,” he shot back finally catching on to her meaning.

“Yea well you can chastise me later, you need to get your ass home it's a school night.”

“What time is it?”

“Just past eleven. I waited until last minute hoping you were up to something fun with Bucky, guess I was wrong.”

“Who says you is wrong?” he answered smiling down as he played with Bucky’s hair getting a low hum from the man in response.

He could hear her grin, “Oh we are definitely talking tomorrow. But you need to get home first, the 7 stops running within an hour.”

“Shit, ok I’m leaving I’ll let you know when I’m back.”

“Ok, be safe,” Peggy called before he ended the call.

Steve sighed flopping back and frowning at the ceiling. He really didn’t want to leave, the weight of Bucky on top of him was nice and comforting and he wished he could just sleep here. But Peggy was right, as always, and he did have class tomorrow.

“Bucky?” he called softly.

“Hmm?” the man answered.

“I have to go.”

“Are you sure?” he mumbled into his chest.

“Yea I have school tomorrow and it’s already late.”

“How late?”

“Eleven.”

“Damn it,” Bucky nuzzled closer to him for a second then with a unhappy little groan sat up and carefully climbed off of Steve. “You are one awesome pillow,” he mumbled yawning and running a hand through his hair.

“And you’re not a bad blanket.”

Bucky smiled blearily and yep, another thing to add to the list that made Steve heart skip a few beats. He secretly wished to see that smile more often, to wake up and be greeted by that always. Steve sighed smiling lovingly over at the man.

After a minute of silent smiling and staring Bucky asked softly “I thought you said you had to go,” a grin tugging ups the corner of his lips.

“I do,” he sighed, “I don’t want to though.”

“Maybe you can stay another time.”

“Yea maybe.”

Grinning fully Bucky slid off the couch stretching with a groan. With a sigh he looked back at Steve holding out his hand, “come on, I’ll walk you to the station.”

“You don’t need to, just go to bed,” Steve said.

“I want to, now come on before Peggy gets angry at me,” he ordered.

Steve took his hand standing and doing a stretch as well, some of his joints protesting to the slightly odd position he’d dozed off in. grabbing his discarded shirt he buttoned it back on and stepped into his shoes. He took Bucky’s offered hand once more and they left, wandering slowly through the dark streets.

“So when are you free next?” Steve asked.

“I’m not sure I don’t get my schedule until tomorrow.”

“Ok well let me know.”

“So you’re sure about this?”

“About what? Seeing you again?”

“Yea I mean, you handled my uh… freak out well but, that’s not the last of them. I told you before I’m a mess, and its not cute.”

“And I told _you_ I don’t care,” Steve said giving his hand a comforting squeeze and bumping their shoulders. “I like you Bucky, and I think you are worth all the freak outs in the world. And hey, maybe I can help you sort out some of your mess.”

“Are you sure?”

“You don’t need to keep asking, yes, I am positive,” Steve smiled kindly with a little eye roll.

“Ok, well, I just needed to check. Basically no one can handle me and my illness, my family can’t that’s for sure.”

“And your friends?”

“They get it but,” he shrugged awkwardly, “they’ve got their own issues. We don’t talk about it much, easier to throw back some beers and try to laugh it off.”

“Well you can tell me anything. So try to calm down, I’m not going anywhere, at least not metaphorically,” he added with a little grin upon spotting the subway sign.

Steve watched Bucky who tried to smile but he could clearly see the pained look in his eyes. “Thank you, I’m sorry for all the apprehension and self consciousness but life has sort of taught me that everything I care for will leave me or be taken.”

“Then maybe I’m supposed to teach you otherwise.” Bucky’s expression softened some as they came to a stop at the top of the steps. “So you’ll let me know?”

“Yes as soon as I hear.”

“Ok, then goodnight,” Steve leaned down for one last sweet kiss.

“Goodnight,” Bucky murmured as he pulled away, letting their hands drop with some hesitation.

“Go to bed,” Steve ordered as he trotted down the steps, “you need it.”

“You too college kid, and be safe!”

“Yes sir,” Steve turned to salute before disappearing into the underground tunnels to the subway.

-

Bucky found that with each successive date his anxieties ebbed some. On some nights he still panicked but Steve was like the calm center of the universe: pulling him in to a secure embrace and waiting with him until he calmed. It took some time but he managed to finally get his shirt off after their eleventh date a few weeks later.

He sat on his bed twiddling and twisting his nervous fingers and looking anywhere but at Steve or his arm. He had already hurriedly stripped off his t-shirt and sat waiting try to push back the fear. Steve knelt before him reaching out to delicately trace his fingers up his arm, stopping just before where it met with skin. His other hand covered Bucky’s and he asked, “May I?”

Bucky took a shuddering breath and nodded closing his eyes. There was a long pause and then he felt Steve’s fingers ghosting over his skin and scar tissue. He let out an involuntary hiss and squeezed his eyes tighter.

The hands moved then, sliding up from his shoulder to his face along with the other leaving his hands to cup his face ever so gently. “Bucky,” Steve said in a soft whisper.

Slowly he opened his eyes finding Steve mere inches away. “You don’t have to be ashamed,” he paused face lighting up with a smile, “you are beautiful.”

“You can’t mean that.”

“I’m an honest man, remember?”

“Its awful.”

“It’s a part of you so to me it is beautiful.” Steve leaned in kissing his forehead. “Every one of your supposed imperfections just makes you all the more perfect to me. I like your scars, and your arm, and your smile, and the way you chew your lip when you are nervous,” he added reminding Bucky to stop chewing his lips, something he hadn’t realized he was doing make Steve’s smile twitch a fraction bright. “I can deal with your anxiety and depression and anything else you throw at me, including a few odd scars. Besides, the scars are proof you are alive. The prove you fought and survived the ugliest parts of life and came out alive and _oh so_ beautiful.”

Bucky blushed at the gush of kind words, spoken soften and lovingly just like the grip on his face. “You, you are a saint you know that?” Bucky managed after a moment voice cracking with emotion.

“No I’m just a boy, who sees you, the real you.”

“You, just, fuck,” Bucky cursed unable to find the words. So instead he leaned forward to express what he could not say through a desperate, but loving kiss.

-

Steve hadn’t meant to say it, not that he didn’t mean it, it’d just sort of come out.

They had been together for four months, going on five. Steve was spending his summer working a part time job and staying most nights in Bucky’s bed where he was now perfectly welcome and at home.

They were sitting on Bucky’s couch, their legs tangled as they munched on cereal and watched one of those trashy TV shows about dramatic socialites. He looked over watching as Bucky ate, short hair ruffled from sleep and looking the vision of mussed perfection to him.

He couldn’t help himself and blurted suddenly, “I love you.”

Bucky looked over and for a long moment they both sat in shock. Steve was surprised at having actually voiced the words and Bucky from hearing them.

“I uh love you too,” Bucky smiled back finally.

“Yea?” he asked voice a little high and nervous.

“Yea,” he nodded.

“That’s, that’s great,” Steve replied unsure of what else to say. His brain was still processing what had been said so it was all he could come up with.

“Not neat?” Bucky grinned playfully.

Steve gave him a light kick, “just ‘cause I love you doesn’t mean you aren’t an idiot.”

“But I’m yours.”

“You are such a ridiculous romantic you know that?” Steve said putting his bowl aside, Bucky doing the same.

“Coming from the man who just confessed his love over cereal? I don’t think you are exactly an expert on romance.”

“Would you please cut the sass and just kiss me already?” Steve tried to frown but his delighted smile won out.

Shaking his head with a light chuckle Bucky climbed over his long legs and fell atop him for a sweet kiss, both grinning stupidly into it.

-

It was just over a year since their first date, approaching a year and a half since their first conversation when they made the change. Instead of their weekly vlog updates, Bucky and Steve’s viewers were sent a link to a new channel: Summer Stucky. There was only one video posted of both of them crowded in front of the camera grinning brightly.

“Hey all you Winter’s Children,” Bucky waved.

“And hello to all my faithful followers,” Steve added. “As you may have noticed this is a whole new channel, run by the both of us,” he said gesturing between them. “We won’t be updating our previous blogs so if you want to see more from us then please subscribe here.”

“Don’t worry though, you’ll still be getting much of the same content,” Bucky added in. “we’ll dedicate a section each to our own interests: fashion for me and art for Steve. There will also be a combined portion that will change depending on the week. We might debate each other, discuss a movie, really whatever is important to us or to you that week”

“For this week though we are doing a simple introduction video because we’re a bit busy at the moment,” Steve grinned over at Bucky. Bucky grinned back before returning his gaze to the camera. “Today is our first day in our new apartment together. So to all of you who already guess yes, its official, we’re together, one year lease and everything,” he explained.

“So to honor the occasion we’ve got a bottle of champagne,” Steve held it up, “and are going to take a crack at the Boyfriend Tag thing.”

“Ok so first question,” Bucky said clearing his throat while Steve poured them each a glass of champagne. “Where did we meet? Does online count?” he asked.

“Maybe, so technically right here on YouTube, but actually we met at The Hub in Brooklyn.”

“Its also where we had our anniversary, thankfully this time with no coffee spills,” Bucky added with a grin.

“Ok next question,” Steve said taking a sip of his drink first. “Where was our first date?”

“At that diner by your school on band night,” Bucky smiled fondly.

“The Hurricane Café,” Steve added. “Ok so next question: what was your first impression of me?”

“Basically that you are an adorable sweetheart, and when I saw you in person that you were a beefcake and totally out of my league.”

“I’m not out of your league,” Steve snorted shaking his head.

“Like hell you aren’t,” Bucky said shaking his head and taking a sip.

“Well my first impression of _you_ was that you the most handsome guy I’d ever seen and also one of the kindest,” Steve shot back.

“Also insane, so next question is when did you meet my family?”

“Well I met Nat, your sister, on our second date and the rest of your family… about two months ago?”

“And what a shit show that was,” Bucky shivered at the memory. “You guys don’t know this but my family is awful: they’re kind of bigoted, conservative, and just generally not nice.”

“Except for Natasha who is both terrifying and brilliant.”

“Yes and she is also to thank for getting us together so cheers to you Nat,” Bucky toasted to the screen. “And I met your mom after maybe a month of dating?”

“Yea I think around then. She loves you by the way, just wanted to fatten you up on pasta and give you extra cuddles.”

“She really is amazing. I think she figured out my family isn’t the greatest so she’s taken it upon herself to fill in the gaps. I’ve basically been adopted at this point,” Bucky grinned softly.

“Yea she’s amazing.”

“Completely. Ok so uh next question is what is a weird habit that the other does.”

“Does putting ridiculous amounts of sugar and creamer in coffee count?”

“No I don’t think that’s weird enough.”

“Ok then… oh you have the cleanest room ever and need to have the fridge organized just so,” Steve chuckled.

“A clean room is not weird.”

“It is, he has to have his bed made, clothes put away, its really kind of sweet and very helpful,” Steve told their viewers with a smirk.

“Yea well your weird habit is the way you sit when you’re sketching. I think I’ve posted a picture to Instagram but he curls into the strangest position, sometimes it looks painful,” Bucky chuckled.

“Ok I will give you that one.”

“Ha see? Ok next how long have we been together?”

“A year as of… a month and a half ago I guess,” Bucky shrugged.

“And an animal that resembles the other?” Steve said a wicked grin spreading over his face while Bucky rolled his eyes. “Bear, a big fluffy cuddly bear,” he chuckled, “I call him Bucky Bear.”

“God,” Bucky groaned flushing pink. “Well I call Steve a puppy, he’s a little golden retriever and can put on the saddest puppy eyes when he wants something. Its adorable and awful, trust me you have to give in to those stupid eyes,” he frowned over.

“Sorry,” Steve leaned over to peck his cheek. They paused for another gulp of champagne each before Steve continued with the questions. “First road trip?”

“Uh to the beach I guess? We don’t really have cars and all,” Bucky shrugged.

“Then we’ll skip that, uh first thing you noticed about me?”

“Your smile.”

“Aw,” Steve cooed making Bucky blush, “I think maybe the same but in order to be different I guess your eyes or your shaggy hair?”

“Hmm good answer,” Bucky gave him a playful nudge. “Next one is what pisses you off? Ok easy answer you hate traffic and religious fanatics and bigots.”

“But don’t we all?”

“Yes but you _really_ don’t like them.”

“Fine and you hate second amendment fanatics and when the coffee maker breaks. He is a snarling monster I swear.”

“You don’t mess with a man’s caffeine,” Bucky said in all seriousness.

“Especially not yours, so favorite feature of mine?”

“Besides your entire face?” Bucky teased this time managing to get Steve to blush. “I’m just gonna name a random part since I love all of you,” he smiled leaning over to kiss Steve’s ever reddening face, “so I dunno, your elbows.”

“My elbows?”

“Yes your adorable elbows,” Bucky chuckled taking his arm and pulling it up to kiss the joint.

“You are such a gooey romantic,” Steve mumbled.

“You love it.”

“I do so to follow your lead I’m going to say your knees, the right one specifically.”

“Oh the right one?”

“Yes the right so give it here,” Steve said making grabby hands. With a roll of his eyes Bucky put down his drink and shuffled around to stick his right leg into Steve’s waiting hands. Giving it a kiss they broke into laughter, Bucky giving him another little shove and kiss behind the ear.

“Ok, ok so what do we argue about most?”

“Actual arguments not debates?”

“Yea we debate all the time, but arguments?”

“You tried to break up with me a few times, that lead to arguments,” Steve pointed out making Bucky wince.

“And I admit I’m the luckiest idiot ever, thank you for putting up with me.”

“Yea its too late now, you’re mine.”

“I know and you’re mine too. There was also the time we started yelling about going to a protest. Which is something I don’t want to think about so… actually I’m going to skip some of these, neither of us PMS, and generally we prefer no one wear pants,” Bucky said glancing over the list.

“You are incorrigible,” Steve said.

“Yes, ok here we go: weird obsessions.”

“You and your trashy reality TV show.”

“Which I stand by, and you have Supernatural.”

“It’s a good show.”

“About which you are _obsessed_.”

“Whatever,” Steve rolled his eyes but with a smile. Looking back at the camera he read the next question, “nicknames? I think we already answered that.”

“Yes so how about… oh what size shoe do I wear?”

“You have weirdly dainty feet, I have no idea.”

“An eight and a half and don’t judge, you have huge feet gigantor,” Bucky shot back. “I’m going to guess like… ten?”

“Eleven and a half.”

“Ha not far off.”

“Lucky guess so what would one food would I eat forever?”

“Casserole, he’s always making casseroles.”

“Its all I know how to make that I like! And you would say your mom’s soup.”

“Its good soup.”

“I’m not disagreeing but its true.”

“Damn right it is, ok, ok oh what is my eye color?” Steve asked immediately turning away shielding his eyes.

Bucky paused before speaking with a wicked grin, “your eyes are the color of a brilliant spring day, and sometimes the deep blue of the ocean.”

Steve looked around gaping, “you… you, wow, all the points to you.”

“And me?” he asked shielding his own eyes.

“Uh the pale blue of dawn or um ice? I am way less poetic than you.”

“Its ok,” Bucky took his hand, “I like you speechless.”

“Shut up,” Steve blushed. “Who is my best friend?”

“Easy, Peggy.”

“And yours is Nat. something I do you wish I didn’t?”

“Spend too long in the studio and loose sleep, its not healthy. And for me?”

“Worrying too much over your arm, I’ve told you a hundred times and I’ll tell you a million more that you handsome as is. I wish you saw that too.”

“I’m working on it,” Bucky mumbled looking away awkwardly. Wordlessly Steve leaned over kiss beside his eye and giving his metal hand a squeeze.

“I think that’s most of the questions, at least the interesting ones,” Steve said to the camera while Bucky smiled weakly. “We’ll update next week and probably give a little tour of the apartment because Bucky has already begun complaining about my weird decorating,” he added with a bright grin. “Anyway thank you for watching, please hit subscribe and let us know what you think and if you have any ideas for future videos.”

“Finally though thank you all my former Winter’s Children and to Steve’s followers for watching. As always please know that I love you. From the bottom of my heart I love you no matter who, what, and where you are. Though technically I love this nerd most,” he added wrapping an arm around Steve’s neck pulling him against his chest.

With a shout of laughter Steve fumbled and ended the video. Still laughing Steve reached up pulling Bucky down for an awkwardly positioned kiss both still grinning and giggling like a pair of idiots. And they were a pair of idiots, a pair of ridiculously happy idiots madly in love. In the end wasn’t that the whole point? To find someone that could make you grin when they ate cereal or even when they spilled hot coffee all over you. The pair had managed to find just that. Whatever else life threw at them, they had each other. It might not be much but to them, it was enough. Love, it is enough (and sometimes its everything).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i give up and decided to just post the final chapter. i hope you guys enjoyed reading about these two love struck fools falling in love. as promised it was quite fluffy, i really am a pathetic romantic. let me know if you guys liked it an any errors i may have made. i'll check back and reply if i can but i am off i guess. thank you all for your support.  
> the title comes from: "i love her, that's the beginning and end of everything"- f scott fitzgerald.
> 
> love Zara

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Snippets Of A Golden Thread](https://archiveofourown.org/works/2576867) by [nekrep](https://archiveofourown.org/users/nekrep/pseuds/nekrep), [SheerahChi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SheerahChi/pseuds/SheerahChi)




End file.
